Monday, April 30, 2012

The Michael Jordan of weeping gently into my pillow

"I'm the Michael Jordan of weeping gently into my pillow."
(April 30, 2012, Jess Dweck, Twitter)

The Jerry Seinfeld of the 1700's

"And actually the more of his work I review, the more I think he may have just been the Jerry Seinfeld of the 1700's.. To each their own. Do not discount the fact that I said this man was born in 1709....! So before us, there are many, but why do we repeat the same mistakes? The real question may be - Why do we do what we do....?! I think Anheiser Busch figured is out and 'why ask why'. LOL"
(April 1, 2012, Millard Baker's Meso RX)

Friday, April 27, 2012

The Rick James of chickens

"What is a county fair without chickens? I particularly like this one, the Rick James of chickens."
(Aug. 5, 2011, Scott's Ravings)

Thursday, April 26, 2012

The Nicki Minaj of Catholicism

"Nicki Minaj’s Grammys performance—which seemed calculated to an absurd degree to offend self-important Catholic leaders who have a tendency to issue hyperbolic condemnations of trendy pop culture, thus engendering free press in the form of a contrived “controversy”—has succeeded in offending the Catholic League’s Bill Donohue, whose frequent grandstanding, irksome delivery, and sheer prolificacy basically makes him the Nicki Minaj of Catholicism. Not surprisingly, Donohue had several problems with the performance that was created explicitly so that people like Bill Donohue would have problems with it."
(Feb. 13, 2012, Sean O'Neal, AV Club)

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

The Tupac of posthumous dressing releases

"Paul Newman is the Tupac of posthumous dressing releases"
(April 25, 2012, Megan Amram, Twitter)

The CM Punk of camera salesmen

"The CM Punk Of Camera Salesmen Has Left The Building
I gave my two weeks notice yesterday. I had been planning for this day since August. I’ve had a pretty good run, but it’s time to pursue other interests. I’m happy to report that it’s an amicable parting of ways. even tho I had grown tired of my job over the past several months, I will miss the friends I made. I’m also proud to say that the vast majority of customers I interacted with, were positive experiences. my last day will be the 17th, then I will be heading to the west coast at the end of the month. keep watching this space for further updates…CANON REBEL T2i, FTW!"
(March 4, 2012, My Stupid Blog)

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

The Dexter of houseplants

"They are adorable! And I am the Dexter of houseplants, so I get how sad and frustrating it is to have a Black Thumb!"
(March 6, City of Dionne)

Monday, April 23, 2012

The Charles Barkley of cities

"While Jerusalem retains, at least in technical terms, its status as Israel’s largest city, Tel Aviv is clearly the country’s largest metropolitan area. Where Jerusalem is busy annexing whatever it can, Greater Tel Aviv is a hodgepodge of technically separate cities between which there is little realistic distinction. But even at that, Tel Aviv is deceptively small. While it feels big it is actually just playing bigger than it is: the Charles Barkley of cities."
(March 6, 2012, San Diego Food & Travel)

Saturday, April 21, 2012

The Werner Von Braun of the F-bomb

"Scholars of filthy language—meaning both Ph.D. linguists and enterprising middle-schoolers—will want to study the agile profanity of Veep’s dialogue with Talmudic intensity. Iannucci (writing with Simon Blackwell, among others) has a great ear for rhythmic invective and withering insults. He may well be the Werner Von Braun of the F-bomb (to use that euphemism that Meyer stiffly employs in front of her college-aged daughter)."
(April 20, 2012, Troy Patterson, Slate)

Friday, April 20, 2012

The Rick Astley of theological virtues

"Charity suffers long and is kind. Charity is the love that bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. It is the Rick Astley of theological virtues. It is the love that we all owe each other, the love that no one can do anything to be worthy of but that we all deserve."
(July 23, 2011, Livejournal)

Thursday, April 19, 2012

The Quentin Tarantino of the mommy bloggers

"Besides that, I was mentioning to a friend how so-and-so has a blog but it's vapid and dull. He said my blog's not like that. I jump in with, 'I know! I am the Quentin Tarantino of the mommy bloggers!'"
(Feb. 10, 2012, Toddler Mom)

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

The Steve Buscemi of music

"Tom Petty is the Steve Buscemi of music."
(April 18, 2012, Nathan Pensky, Twitter)

The Hall and Oates of crocodile hunting/rock climbing

"I'm quite confident that after all of our climbing that we both have a good chance of making the Krypton factor final or being stuntmen in Cliffhanger 2. Luckily we both managed to survive probably due to the fact that we choose the right footwear Salomon. It's safe to say that me and Nick are like the Hall and Oates of Crocodile hunting/rock climbing."
(March 23, 2012, John Tighe's Blog)

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

The Kanye West of neopaganism

"That was Z's whole point - to make peoples' blood boil. Her only intention here was to stir up hate and discontent and attract attention to herself.
Z is the Kanye West of neopaganism."
(Feb. 22, 2012, Teo Bishop, Bishop in the Grove)

Monday, April 16, 2012

The Eddie Van Halen of paper shredders

"The Eddie Van Halen of Paper Shredders
The thing that’s missing from paper shredders? Celebrity endorsements. Take Fellowes’s new 79Ci shredder, which costs $240. For starters, Fellowes could get guitar heroes like Eddie Van Halen or Yngwie Malmsteen to vouch for its superior shredding ability. The 79Ci is also, Fellowes claims, jam proof. Well, I’d like to see Paul Weller or Jimmy Jam put that to the test."
(April 3, 2012, Sam Grobart, The New York Times)

Friday, April 13, 2012

The Joe Biden of heaven

"Jesus is not an assistant to God. Jesus is not the Joe Biden of heaven. Jesus has never been a junior partner to God but equal with the Almighty Father in every way, shape, and form. But he did not regard that position of equality a thing to be held on to."
(Dec. 23, 2011, Thoughts Along the Way)

Thursday, April 12, 2012

The Octomom of food babies

"So pick a pair that fits comfortably — you don’t have to squeeze into skinny jeans, but do yourself a favor and leave your PMS pants in the closet — and wear them any time you know you might be tempted. Going out for dinner and drinks with your cousins Wednesday night? Doing a Black Friday brunch? Wear the jeans! It’s a good way to make sure you don’t become the Octomom of food babies and keep yourself in check throughout the season. Do I want to step on the scale when I’m regularly ingesting carbs and white sugar? Um, ya know, I’d rather not…but I can commit to slipping into the same pair of jeans once a week."
(Nov. 23, 2009, Shedding It & Getting It)

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

The Inspector Clouseau of serial killers

"I'd be the Inspector Clouseau of serial killers."
(April 12, 2012, Shari Vanderwerf, Twitter)

The Patch Adams of putting on a clown mask and scaring kids so bad they need to be hospitalized

"I'm the Patch Adams of putting on a clown mask and scaring kids so bad they need to be hospitalized."
(April 12, 2012, Jocelyn Plums, Twitter)

The George Costanza of zebras

"I like to think of him as the George Costanza of zebras."
(Oct. 31, 2011, Rusty Innards)

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

The Alex Forrest of teas

"Irish Breakfast doesn't have to be bitter. If it is, you've oversteeped it. Queen of the Assams, this is the Alex Forrest of teas: a high-strung and vengeful brew. Slight it at your peril."
(Feb. 6, 2009, Livejournal)

Monday, April 9, 2012

The Keith Richards of countries

"Very sweet, my friend. Who knew Uncle Sam would become the Keith Richards of countries!"
(March 11, 2012, Clown Crack)

Friday, April 6, 2012

The Mitt Romney of music

"You should; KISS is the Mitt Romney of music. RT @genesimmons: I HAVE NOT ENDORSED MITT ROMNEY FOR PRES."
(April 6, 2012, Rob Delaney, Twitter)

The Truman Capote of the tailgate scene

"I'm kind of the Truman Capote of the tailgate scene."
(April 6, 2012, Ted Travelstead, Twitter)

The Beelzebub of beverages

"I’m going to go on record to state that I find store-bought egg nog to be of the devil. It’s pure evil in a carton, the Beelzebub of beverages. The reason I know this to be true is that I know what real egg nog tastes like, and it is NOT that demon-concocted slime that pours out of festively decorated boxes of false promises each holiday season!"
(Dec. 13, 2007, livefire)

Thursday, April 5, 2012

The Dexter of jacking up shots

"Nick Young is straight psycho jackin. He's like the Dexter of jacking up shots. 9% points ahead of the field."
(Feb. 15, 2011, Basketball

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

The Jerry Lewis of natural causes

"If there is no God to grant us an afterlife, atheists should be the main cheerleaders of an effort to find immortality through research. One of them should be the Jerry Lewis of natural causes."
(June 21, 2011, Todd Strandberg, Standing for God)

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

The Richard III of pop music

"And it might have happened, but for two factors – one, she made a crap second album, and, two, by anointing us all as her little monsters and deciding to become the saviour of the gays, she crowned herself – something that was not her decision to make. This makes Lady GaGa the Richard III of pop music. He only lasted two years too."
(Nov. 7, 2011, Source of the Niall)

Monday, April 2, 2012

The Wu-Tang Clan of American Catholic letters

"Sounds like a good pairing: The George Plimpton of the digital age, interning for the Wu-Tang Clan of American Catholic letters."
(Sept. 23, 2011, Korrektiv)