Friday, July 31, 2009

The Hugh Hefner of hammock hangers

"Give me a plaid smoking jacket and some fuzzy slippers, ...THIS IS THE GOOD LIFE. I feel like the Hugh Hefner of hammock hangers. This is the cadillac, of hammock shelters. In all the photos of this review I am using a large model all titanium collapsible woodstove made by Titanium Goat."
(Nov. 8, 2007, Around the Campfire)

Thursday, July 30, 2009

The Mariah Carey of the red panda world

"The zoo hopes Mae Lin becomes pregnant, but the pair haven't always been cozy: Zoo animal supervisor Dominick Dorsa said, 'Mae Lin's the boss. She let him know that she's going to run the situation... She's a diva. She's the Mariah Carey of the red panda world. She knows she's got it, and she knows everybody wants it.'"
(Feb. 6, 2009, Gothamist)

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

The A-Rod of engagement bands

"Sure, if you've got the scratch: If the four Cs are to a ring what tools are to a baseball player, you're looking at the A-Rod of engagement bands."
(Nov 30, 2007, Men's Health)

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

The Bruce Campbell of B-level porn

"STEVE ROBLES: How about Evan Stone? Can we just narrow it down to Evan Stone?
VB: Thank you very much.
SR: I called him the Bruce Campbell of B-level porn.
VB: He's not even that good. I would do Bruce Campbell. Evan Stone is like the Chippendales dancer that got lost. Overly waxed. Lantern jaw. He's the kind of guy where girls like me look and say, "Where are all the hot guys in porn?"
SR: They're in gay porn."
(Oct 19, 2006, 10 Zen Monkeys)

Monday, July 27, 2009

The Tony Soprano of the mutant world

"I have never seen Professor X look so small and insignificant as he did in that short scene. It was such a bizarre scene for a character that I have always found to be the patriarch for the X-Men family who calls all of the shots. Professor X was the Tony Soprano of the mutant world. Professor X has played the role of the puppet master for so long that it is strange to see him stripped of his control over the X-Men."
(Nov. 8, 2007, Rokk's Comic Book Revolution)

Sunday, July 26, 2009

The Tom Brady of breast oncology

"According to Dr. Monica Morrow (the Tom Brady of breast oncology):"
(March 12, 2009, Jeffrey Parks, Buckeye Surgeon)

Saturday, July 25, 2009

The Barbie of the arachnid group

"Mommy has very long legs. Is she like the Barbie of the arachnid group?"
(July 4, 2009, Flickr)

Friday, July 24, 2009

The Elmer Fudd of chocolate rabbit look-alikes

"Mr. Lange is the Elmer Fudd of chocolate rabbit look-alikes. He has represented Lindt for some two decades. He learned the trade from a senior partner who brought intellectual-property cases for Lindt back in the early 1980s."
(June 11, 2009, Charles Forelle, The Wall Street Journal,

Thursday, July 23, 2009

The Kermit the Frog of Memphis wrestling

"Just a really weird thing that works so well. Lance Russell makes the match for me. He really does. Some guy said on the DVDR boards that Lance was always sort of the Kermit the Frog of Memphis wrestling. Things would be going fine if it weren't for all those crazy muppets around him. And really, I couldn't think of anything better that would describe Memphis TV and wrestling in general."
(Sept. 18, 2008,

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

The George Costanza of Lost theorizers

"J, you mentioned above that Annie might still be around, so I wanted to remind you that Annie was one of Kate's aliases. Some viewers have suggested that they are the same person based on the name, freckles, and both being left-handed. I think it's hilarious myself, but then I'm like the George Costanza of Lost theorizers."
(May 15, 2007, Powell's Books)

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

The Ted Bundy of the evil doll kingdom

"If that charmer Chucky could be called the Ted Bundy of the evil doll kingdom, then this painted villain has to be John Wayne Gacy. The setup for the possession of the hideous clown doll is a brilliant piece of contextual horror constructed around the classic fears so many children have in the middle of the night. Flashes of lightning through a night time window, things bumping around in the darkness, things disappearing where they shouldn’t, fears of what might be lurking underneath the bed; it’s all great scary stuff that most of us with a pulse can readily identify with."
(Nov. 3, 2008, Tristan Sinns, Dread Central)

Monday, July 20, 2009

The Jack Tripper of the frog world

"And finally, the Jack Tripper of the frog world becomes part of Three's Company-style mistaken identity the hard way. As one veternarian put it, 'You shouldn't be kicking toads to death anyway, it's far better to catch them up and pop them in the freezer.' Good advice Doc."
(Feb. 19, 2008, The Smoking Cupcake)

Sunday, July 19, 2009

The Thelma and Louise of shagging men on the Internet and driving backwards up a motorway blasted on drugs

"There was a time when Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie were inseparable. On their TV show The Simple Life Paris and Nicole would bimble about America failing to do tasks that even a lobotomised stoat would find a little on the easy side. It's not an overstatement to say that Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie were the Thelma And Louise of shagging men on the internet and driving backwards up a motorway blasted on drugs respectively."
(Feb. 26, 2008, Stuart Heritage, Hecklerspray)

Saturday, July 18, 2009

The Alec Baldwin of melted sandwich cheese

"I take that back. It's the Steve Gutenberg of sandwiches.
Provolone is the Alec Baldwin of melted sandwich cheese. Mozzarella is just Bill Pullman or Paxton, whichever."
(March 4, 2009, The Baltimore Sun)

Friday, July 17, 2009

The Strawberry Shortcake of demons

"'... how on earth... relatively speaking of course, do you manage to seduce enough people to be in the top ten incubi? You're like... the Strawberry Shortcake of demons,' Shige grouses. Still, he has to admit that he's a little intrigued by the idea of a bet, his natural competitive nature aroused."
(May 14, 2009, Livejournal)

Thursday, July 16, 2009

The Sean Connery of payment systems

"Gonzo thinks ACH is cool - it's the Sean Connery of payment systems. Too bad banks didn't rally around this idea with some funding and enthusiasm."
(Dec. 20, 2002, GonzoBanker)

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

The Rosa Parks of the inanimate world

"So can we stop blaming this poor descending prop wall? Hasn't it suffered enough being first linked to the Tony Awards, and now to Bret Michaels? As far as we're concerned, that wall was just minding its own business and simply refused to make way for a prancing faded hair metal star. That wall, in so many words, is the Rosa Parks of the inanimate world."
(June 12, 2009, David Hansen, City Pages)

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

The Beavis and Butthead of the seventeenth century

"I would love to see this painting up close. What were these women laughing about? Wouldn't you like to ask them? I have a perfect spot in my house for these ladies. Having them there might just help me to lighten up a little. I doubt that there is anything these women couldn't laugh at. They strike me as being a little like the Beavis and Butthead of the seventeenth century...except with a bit more class."
(Sept. 26, 2007, Heliotropium)

Monday, July 13, 2009

The St. Francis of Assisi of the block

"ALRIGHT, I will head out and buy it this week...will it attract wayward cats in the neighborhood. I shouldn't worry - I am the St. Francis of Assisi of the block."
(May 26, 2009, Sidewalk Shoes)

Sunday, July 12, 2009

The Tom Hanks of the vegetable world

"The potato is often referred to as the Tom Hanks of the vegetable world. Yep, he definitely is."
(March 10, 2009, We LOVE Vegetables!!!"

Saturday, July 11, 2009

The Oprah of knitting things

"You are like the Oprah of knitting things. You mention the sock yarn brand and it sells out in minutes. They must love you and feel like they won the lottery when you endorse their product."
(April 24, 2009, Yarn Harlot)

Friday, July 10, 2009

The Tori Spelling of shoe brands

"Tori Spelling and her son are shilling for Skechers, which I find fitting. I mean, Skechers is sort of the Tori Spelling of shoe brands, and if you don't believe me I'm here to remind you the company was founded by the same guy who brought the world L.A. Gear."
(May 14, 2008, Jezebel)

Thursday, July 9, 2009

The Tom Cruise of chickens

"AMI! Omword! Once I crawled out from under my rock, I realized that YOU are THE Jami that is behind these chickens! Oh my goodness! Does that talent of yours ever end? They are so adorable, and I love how you have showcased them here. This one is sooo funny, he’s like the Tom Cruise of chickens. ;)I love this and even moreso now that I know they’re made by you. :D Thank you for the freebies, I will be sure to use them soon…"
(April 10, 2009, Stamp Happy)

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

The Karen Carpenter of the vampire world

"That’s bad enough. The fact that Bella, with no ethical qualms whatsoever, wants to be a vampire herself is worse. Bella herself wants to be a killer. (This is fairly ridiculous, since the heroine literally faints at the sight of blood in biology class. Apparently, she’d wind up being the Karen Carpenter of the vampire world.) One fundamental difference, though, between Bella and a serial killer like Bundy or Dahmer or a fictional one like Dexter, is that serial killers are largely born that way. Bella, though, has a choice."
(June 3, 2008, Lorem Ipsum)

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

The Huey Lewis of serial killers

"he was like the huey lewis of serial killers. completely insane, but somehow completely together at the same time. he side stepped almost all of the classic serial killer cliches and forged his own sick path"
(Jan. 22, 2007, Livejournal)

Monday, July 6, 2009

The Betty and Veronica of highly sexually innuendoed television comedy

"i remember having pretty erotic dreams consisting of women from british comedys that were made in the 70s or 80s. i think i had a wet dream once over these lusty wenches. they were the betty and veronica of highly sexually innuendoed television comedy. with ye old english accent, a poshy one not that rubbish essex one. that is the only recollection i have of every having a wet dream."
(April 5, 2007, Livejournal)

Sunday, July 5, 2009

The Professor X of the 7th grade

"You have to take your fun where you can find it, I suppose. In this case it's turning myself into the Professor X of the 7th grade. (Yes, I know, I'm a dork.)"
(Feb. 4, 2007, Livejournal)

Saturday, July 4, 2009

The Batman of feminism

"I'm like the batman of feminism now!
BAM! KAPOW! WHAM! ZONK! to sexism!"
(June 3, 2009, Feministing)

Friday, July 3, 2009

The Tyra Banks of horses

"The Tyra Banks of horses! Not even kidding, it looks like her!"
(June 16, 2009, Twitturly)

Thursday, July 2, 2009

The Richard Simmons of the cosmos

"Real Science: Is there a solution to The Fermi Paradox? Are aliens just hiding from us like we're the Richard Simmons of the cosmos?"
(Feb. 3, 2009, SF Signal)

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

The Lance Armstrong of hot monkey love

"Let me tell you something, little missy, I am the Lance Armstrong of hot monkey love! It just never stops! Sometimes it’ll go on for four, five…even six minutes at a time! Believe me, almost every lady I’ve ever been with has begged me to stop!"
(Aug. 31, 2008, CoH Podcast)