Friday, April 29, 2011

The Luke Wilson of cereals

"The Littlest Wife has also never shared my habit of eating sugary cereals for breakfast, opting instead for the Luke Wilson of cereals, plain Cheerios."
(May 12, 2008, Hello, Future Children!)

Thursday, April 28, 2011

The Michael Jordan of police dogs

"The police dog 'Kilo' works for the state of Indiana, and is known of the Michael Jordan of Police Dogs. But he is a German Shepard… So I guess he is the Dirk Nowitzki of Police K-9′s, but who am I to ruin a perfectly good nickname."
(March 15, 2011, Ethan Jaynes, Stacheketball)

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

The Rod Stewart of seasons

"You are the Rod Stewart of seasons. You insist on hogging the headlining slot, then performing twenty-seven screechy encores when all we want to do is go home, sleep, and hope things will look better in the morning. And technically? This is the morning. You’re hogging Spring’s time slot. Get off the fucking stage, already."
(March 23, 2011, Buggin Word)

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

The Jimmy Fallon of Swiss legislators

"This almost fits, but then why does he start cracking up so early? That first giggling fit 20 secs in, he's still citing some legal document's chapter and verse. Is it in anticipation of the air-cured-beef reference a minute later? Is he like the Jimmy Fallon of Swiss legislators, chuckling way ahead of his punchline?"
(Sept. 27, 2010, MetaFilter)

Monday, April 25, 2011

The Glenn Close of fantasy football players

"Randy is like having a crazy girlfriend, except you’re married. He is the Glenn Close of fantasy football players. One day he’s scoring touchdowns for you via the Patriots and the next thing you know – rabbit stew!"
(Nov. 6, 2010, Draft Day Suit)

Friday, April 22, 2011

The Brett Favre of messiahs

"Is he dead? Is he alive? Is he dead? Jesus is the Brett Favre of Messiahs."
(April 14, 2011, Aimee B, Twitter)

The Saddam Hussein of Krypton

"It all begins when Kryptonians start stealing rare elements and whole laboratories. Superman finds his Fortress of Solitude broken OUT of and discovers it's a handful of Kandorians who have found a way to enlarge themselves and believe Superman has been holding out on them. When Superman and tag-along Jimmy go down into the bottle (where Superman is powerless), they find the whole population now regards him as the Saddam Hussein of Krypton."
(April 3, 2011, Siskoid's Blog of Geekery)

Thursday, April 21, 2011

The Susan Lucci of the Employee of the Year world

"Out of 6,000 employees, I'm nominated for Employee of the Year again. Hooray! Last year, I didn't win, but I got a free meal out of it. This year we shall see. I could be the Susan Lucci of the Employee of the Year world. Either way, it'll be a fun night out. Now what will I wear??"
(March 30, 2011, Work, Knit, Study)

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

The Scrooge McDuck of the Marvel Universe

"Anyway, as an adult, Gideon spends his time ignoring his wife and kid while working tirelessly to gain control of the world’s finances. He’s pretty much the Scrooge McDuck of the Marvel Universe—only Scrooge at least would show some affection for his nephews from time to time."
(April 14, 2010, Tim DeForest, Comics, old time radio and other cool stuff)

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

The Ellen Page of 40-year-old drunk guys

"As the 2010 gathering of the now infamous World Drinking Tour draws near, I felt it was high time to reflect on the past and to attempt - possibly with the utmost futility - to make sense of it all. As is my way, rather than compose an original hypothesis, I’ve decided to do what I do best and boil everything in life down to an obscure pop culture reference. I’m the Ellen Page of 40 year old drunk guys."
(Aug. 6, 2010, World Drinking Tour)

Monday, April 18, 2011

The Jimmy Carter of seminaries

"Braggable or shameful? It's the Jimmy Carter of seminaries -- intelligent, misunderstood, aloof."
(March 31, 2011, The Virgina College Review)

Friday, April 15, 2011

The Andy Rooney of boomer hepcats

"Standup comic George Carlin follows up his dark-horse smash bestseller Brain Droppings with another compendium of cranky meditations, cinching his reputation as the Andy Rooney of boomer hepcats."
(March 24, 2011, Humor Entertainment Book for Sale)

Thursday, April 14, 2011

The Barack Obama of kitchen appliances

"Perhaps I’m being too hard on this little guy — everything we cooked in it was, after all, delicious, just not as life-changing as I was hoping for. We decided sous vide is the Barack Obama of kitchen appliances — it does a perfectly fine job, but really we were expecting miracles."
(July 26, 2010, Endless Summer)

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

The Owen Wilson of presidents

"Hall Pass won’t hit theaters until this Friday, but you just know Bill Clinton asked Hillary for one this morning. If it were up to us, we’d send Slick Willie to Nikki’s, where he’d have no problem sending rounds to sun-soaked honeys. (After all, he was the Owen Wilson of presidents.)"
(Feb. 11, 2011, Mike White, Welovenice)

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

The Christina Hendricks of side tables

"This accent table is the Christina Hendricks of side tables. I stopped dead in my tracks when I spotted it in the new Wisteria catalog. Those are some awfully sensuous curves."
(March 5, 2011, Lynn Byrne, Decor Arts Now)

Monday, April 11, 2011

The Crispin Glover of subatomic particles

"The top quark is 40 times heavier than the next biggest quark, and is as heavy as an entire gold atom. It doesn't normally exist in the Universe. However, top quarks can be created by high energy collisions inside particle accelerators, where they are briefly impressive, but then become wildly unstable and disappear. In this respect, top quarks are the Crispin Glover of subatomic particles."
(Oct. 25, 2006, Drew Olbrich, Cool Science Facts)

Friday, April 8, 2011

The Muppet Babies of Christianity

"The thing I wonder as I read this is whether Stem Cell Jesus, Embryo Jesus, and Embryo God are interchangeable with Regular Jesus and Regular God, or if they’re sort of the Muppet Babies of Christianity."
(Feb. 9, 2010, danebrammage, Livejournal)

Thursday, April 7, 2011

The Maggie Simpson of Mad Men

"Eugene is the Maggie Simpson of Mad Men…"
(Sept. 27, 2010, Cultural Learnings)

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

The Donald Trump of nursing bras

"I’m not the Donald Trump of nursing bras…yet."
(April 22, 2010, The Honeymilk Designs Blog)

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

The R2D2 of insipid anger

"AR-15? Is that some Republican talking points robot model number? Kind of like the R2D2 of insipid anger? Don't worry about Rocky B, I got this one."
(Oct. 9, 2010, The Hays County RoundUp)

Monday, April 4, 2011

The Omar Little of legal incense products

"In the wee hours of last Thursday, a young guy with a hammer smashed through the front door of the Mellow Mood head shop in Moorhead and stole the shop's inventory of synthetic marijuana....

The Omar Little of legal incense products."
(Oct. 4, 2010, Nick Pinto, City Pages)

Friday, April 1, 2011

The Miami Heat of Massachusetts health care

"Killingsworth is the Miami Heat of Massachusetts health care. It’s hard to believe someone that expensive could suck that bad."
(March 8, 2011, Michael Graham, Boston Herald)