Wednesday, June 30, 2010

The Joe Biden of can’t-keep-their-mouths-shut pickpockets

"Goldman is an extraordinary Alpha dog. Enron on steroids. Yet they are also an extraordinary albatros. A tone deaf, don’t know-when-to-lay-low, last-to-leave-the-party vampire squid that seems intent to rub their criminalty in everyone’s faces long after it is uncool to keep kicking the corpses on the ground and everyone else already slunk off into the weeds because they heard the sirens in the distance. They are the Joe Biden of can’t-keep-their-mouths-shut pickpockets."
(April 20, 2010, Naked Capitalism)

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

The Charles Barkley of sloppy seconds

"The Charles Barkley Of Sloppy Seconds – nobody liked a good a rebound fuck like Johnny"
(Feb. 11, 2010, The Dbag Journal)

Monday, June 28, 2010

The Hannibal Lecter of sexting

"Tiger Woods Is the Hannibal Lecter of Sexting"
(March 18, 2010, Tim Kenneally, Celebuzz)

Friday, June 25, 2010

The Mr. Spock of bowling coaches

"If, like me, you're impressed enough with the two-handed bowling style to try it yourself or, at least, to help others learn it, Joe Slowinski, the 'Mr. Spock' of bowling coaches, has an article that dissects the style with patented Slowinskian meticulousness. Enjoy."
(May 18, 2010,
Steve's Bowling Blog)

Thursday, June 24, 2010

The Forrest Gump of jihad

"From all the officials we talked to we heard shades of the same story: Bryant was an unremarkable kid who defied logic and upbringing to threaten his nation.

His path to radicalism we were told made him a poster child for the process, 'the Forrest Gump of Jihad,' as one official put it."
(May 12, 2010, Updated News)

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

The Hamburglar of typographical errors

"yesterday i took a break from my new job as packy mcpackerson to attend to my actual job, which meant pulling yet another copyediting all-nighter. i pride myself on being very sharp in the night. typo? look out! it's the middle of the night! i'm like the hamburglar of typographical errors after 10 pm. it's the daytime you have to look out for. in the day i get distracted by netflix, useless chores, dishes in the sink, dry skin, etc. what can i say? when you have to scratch, you have to. but at night there are no distractions. only typos. and hamburgers."
(Aug. 24, 2006, Kara, Sempre l'altra cosa)

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

The Keith Richards of menswear trends

"We feel like we say this every year, but we’re really starting to tire of check shirts – they’re the Keith Richards of menswear trends."
(March 16, 2010, Selectism)

Monday, June 21, 2010

The Steve Buscemi of golf bags

"Esthetically, the Anomaly is…different. My guess is it won’t appeal to everyone (even if I think it’s really cool). It’s not exactly the Steve Buscemi of golf bags, but hopefully you get the point."
(Sept. 21, 2009, Qwowi Golf)

Friday, June 18, 2010

The Michael Phelps of getting the waitress to leave the entire pitcher of sweet tea at the table

"Personally, I’m definitely the Michael Phelps of getting the waitress to leave the entire pitcher of sweet tea at the table. Boo-yah, as they say."
(Aug. 15, 2008, Say Cheese? A Blog of Sorts)

Thursday, June 17, 2010

The Bill Murray of the Muppets

"It’s about time Dr. Teeth got his chance to try a dramatic role. He could be the Bill Murray of the Muppets."
(May 16, 2010, Outlaw Vern)

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

The Kathy Griffin of the perfume community

"Daltroffian Girl (The Kathy Griffin of the Perfume Community, the only girl who speaks her mind, banned and re-banned many times over, not from the View or the Morning Show but from those perfume boards crowded with old haggard women! hehe)"
(July 3, 2008, Perfume Shrine)

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

The Thor of a full blown "progressive" agenda

"Does Steele not realize the party will only win if it tenaciously challenges the dangerous and foolish policies of Obama, and expounds its principles with clarity and passion? Now, I'm going to assume that Steele is basically conservative, but that he's so scared of Republicans appearing mean-spirited, ready to let America suffer by not supporting a very popular president. Of course, it was smart to moderate the tone when Obama was first elected. Now, though, Obama has pulled out of the honeymoon. Obama fancies himself the Thor of a full blown 'progressive' agenda. The hammer's being thrown, and Republicans need to challenge him."
(March 2, 2009, The American Spectator)

Monday, June 14, 2010

The Walt Whitman of booty poetry

"Strive for pure, wacked-out genius: 'Inverted nipple canyons and wild, bumpy aerola, like relief maps of Antarctica and Madagascar. I felt like Vasco de Gama. I hope they're appreciated now.' This guy's the Walt Whitman of booty poetry. Who would ever break up with someone capable of such inspired erotic riffs?"
(Dec. 9, 2009, Scott Indrisek, Asylum)

Friday, June 11, 2010

The James Cameron of boob effects

"I want to copy-write 'boob lens flare' as my own creation - 'Im the James Cameron of boob effects!'"
(Oct 29, 2007, Revision3 Forum)

Thursday, June 10, 2010

The Annie Sprinkle of citrus

"The Orange is the Annie Sprinkle of Citrus."
(July 26, 2005, whimsicalmutant, Livejournal)

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

The Bert and Ernie of female singer-songwriters

"12. ani difranco - not a pretty girl
holy. raw. fucking. woman power.

13. tori amos - little earthquakes/ boys for pele
the albums are a package deal. first ani, then tori. the two are really like the bert and ernie of female singer-songwriters. like chocolate and peanut butter, bacon and eggs, rice and beans... they go together. i remember the first time i listened to boys for pele. i couldn't get through it. while listening to 'blood roses' i had a panic attack. (sign of a good album, for sure) i put it away and never touched it for another year. sure am glad i had the courage to bring it back into rotation."
(May 28, 2009, Chantilly, Musical Whimsy)

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

The Elmer Fudd of the Maine congressional delegation

"In Washington, D.C., senators who have no problem with the government spying on citizens without a warrant or holding people without charge for years, even torturing them for information, finally drew a line in the sand. They refused to budge on the idea that people on the government's terror watch list should be banned from buying guns, and they told this to Mike Bloomberg, mayor of the city that almost got car bombed. For Susan Collins, the Elmer Fudd of the Maine congressional delegation, it comes down to the possibility that someone could be on the list who's not a terrorist. Lindsey Graham, needing to appear butch after getting teabagged in his home state recently, said that it's just a slippery slope to banning handguns. In other words, you can stop someone from flying if they're on a list, but not from buying a gun."
(May 7, 2010, Democratic Underground)

Monday, June 7, 2010

The Lindsay Lohan of lunches

"My co-worker's lunch looked good. Smelled great. Tasted awful. It was the Lindsay Lohan of lunches."
(April 16, 2010, Crusty Juggler, Twitter)

Friday, June 4, 2010

The Jennifer Garner of men

"I knew I was drinking too much at work yesterday. I forgot Hugh Jackman's birthday. I know, I know. 41 years old and he looks like that? I was going to say that I didn't look that good at 20, but honestly, I have never looked that good. Hugh spent the day yesterday hanging out with his kids in the park. So, basically like every other day. He is kind of like the Jennifer Garner of men without the being married to Ben Affleck part. Oh, and he is not American. Oh, and he has made more hit. So, really not like Jennifer at all. He is always with his kids like her though. That is a good thing."
(Oct. 13, 2009, Crazy Days and Nights)

Thursday, June 3, 2010

The Yoda of iced tea

"But Italy can't 'do' ice any better than any other European subdivision. I am an expert on iced tea. I make it fresh every single day I am in a civilized nation or in my own home. I know every secret the world of iced tea holds. I am like the Yoda of iced tea. But the best iced tea I managed to make on my recent trip to Rome, tasted like not very cold dishwater – after the dishes were done."
(April 7, 2010, Craig Whitson, The Foreigner)

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

The Gob Bluth of the Jackson family

"As a result, LaToya refuses to go out after dark and sticks to crowded restaurants. She apparently believes she knows too much. God love her, but I don't necessarily believe that knowing too much is a problem she needs to worry about. She's kind of the Gob Bluth of the Jackson family."
(Oct. 21, 2009, Lisa Timmons, Socialite Lite)

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

The Saddam Hussein of this blogging shit

"i think eskay told nate and dre not to fuck around in the comments with us too…they dont really say shit like they used to either

eskay is the Saddam Hussein of this blogging shit"
(Oct. 22, 2009, Nah Right)