Thursday, July 29, 2010

The Jay-Z of the nail polish world

"As the Jay-Z of the nail polish world, OPI is at the top of our list for excellent nail-care brands."
(June 15, 2010,
Chris-Tia Donaldson, Thank God I'm Natural)

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

The Aquaman of baked goods

"Nige: You're like the Aquaman of baked goods.

Me: THANK you!

Nige: I'm glad you decided to take that as a compliment--no one wants to be the Aquaman of anything."
(April 2, 2010, More Than This Provincial Life)

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

The Dr. Zoidberg of international relations

"The fact remains, the Australian troops could leave tomorrow. It wouldn't make much of a difference to the Iraqis - on either side - and it would sure as hell make us a lot safer, even if the U.S. did shut us out of trade talks as a punishment for not doing as we're told. But it won't happen. Australia has become the Dr. Zoidberg of international relations - so pathetically greatful for attention, we'll do anything the U.S. asks of us. Well, I'm sick of it. My taxes may be paying for this, but I'll dust off that old cliche - Not In My Name."
(Oct. 6, 2006, The Xander and Nico Pod)

Monday, July 26, 2010

The Jim and Pam of tempura

"Complete and utter perfection. And my favorite bite all night. The delicately peeled cherry tomato was at the sweet red height of its ripeness, exactly as warm as one just plucked off a sun-soaked vine, lightly clothed in a fall jacket of tempura and a cap of pungent green wasabi, dusted with a snowfall of sea salt. I never would have thought this flavor combination could work so well. But the tomato and wasabi have great chemistry – the Jim and Pam of tempura, if you will. (Oh how I miss The Office!) Her simple sweetness, his kick of feistiness. A perfect (and completely adorable, don’t you think?) pair."
(Dec. 7, 2009, Kate French, Catalan Cookery)

Friday, July 23, 2010

The Reggie Jackson of not thinking about banging

"Try to limit 2010 sex thoughts to 786,432 (2,154.6ish per day– be the Reggie Jackson of Not Thinking About Banging)"
(Jan. 19, 2010, Sea Green Telecaster)

Thursday, July 22, 2010

The Jackie Chan of washing machines

"Laundry is a task. Not the kind of task I'm used to; I can't just drag my loaded hamper down the stairs and hope that someone tosses the whites in separately with a scoop of Tide. No, here, it requires pulling out an antique of a washing machine, hand-loading it with water from the broken well, and pulling suds-sodden clothes out after an hour and a half of being the recipients of the Jackie Chan of washing machines. In the 33 degrees Fahrenheit water, I hand-wrung my clothes, pondered whether or not to rinse the excess soap out, decided that's WAY too much work (and, who knows, maybe a little extra soap means they stay cleaner, longer) and trudged my pile of hopefully-cleaner garments back upstairs to commence the drying process in front of my space heater."
(April 16, 2009, Three Months in Tibet)

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

The Joan Rivers of the sausage world

"You can see from the six slices picture that these bangers have a superb texture. If you likes it rough, these are the boys for you! John’s Old English are definitely the Joan Rivers of the sausage world, coarse, dry, and crumbly. Delicious! (The sausages, not Joan). I heartily recommend them, and very much enjoyed them for Sunday breakfast. Good work John’s!"
(April 27, 2010, Rate My Sausage)

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

The Paul Rudd of women

"Rachel McAdams took several years off after her career starting booming. She appeared in Public Enemies and she is currently in Sherlock Holmes. She also has a couple more movies in production…can’t wait for her return. She is the Paul Rudd of women–no one dislikes those two!"
(Jan. 5, 2010, Entertainment Weekly)

Monday, July 19, 2010

The Zapp Brannigan of Burning Man

"Yes, I'm the Zapp Brannigan of Burning Man. I need some sweet boots now."
(Sept. 12, 2006, Captain Underpants, Livejournal)

Friday, July 16, 2010

The Michael Jordan of guys named Kornel

"(1) Continuity: Since 1987, seven coaches have won titles in the NBA: Jackson (11), Gregg Popovich (4), Pat Riley (3), Rudy Tomjanovich (2), Chuck Daly (2), Doc Rivers (1) and Larry Brown (1). Far as I can tell, only once in that span did a title team change coaches, and of course it involved PJ. Tim Floyd won 13 games following Jackson's departure from Chicago in '98. In fairness, Floyd was given everything Jackson had, except the good players (although Kornel David is widely considered the Michael Jordan of guys named Kornel)."
(July 1, 2010, Brian Kamenetzky, ESPN Los Angeles)

Thursday, July 15, 2010

The Oprah of the ancient world

"Queen Vashti was like the Oprah of the ancient world. She had influence and lots of it. But according to the story, she made one fatal mistake. She made her decisions alone. She discussed with no one before answering the king’s request. Had she had even one trusted advisor, maybe her answer would have been different. In contrast we learn later than Queen Esther ran everything past her trusted advisor, Mordecai."
(April 22, 2010, Strength 2 Stand)

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

The Jonah Hill of lunches

"The vegetarian platter is like the Jonah Hill of lunches. There is a lot of it, and it's enjoyable, but when it comes down to it, there are better options out there."
(Oct. 20, 2009, OTX Lunch Blog)

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

The Brock Lesnar of cats

"I am totally not suprised Smilodon had such powerful arms. I mean, if you are going to be taking down bison without using your teeth you are going to need to be the Brock Lesnar of cats."
(July 3, 2010, Discover)

Monday, July 12, 2010

The Larry David of female sexual awkwardness

"I used to read Alexi’s blog every once in awhile, until I realized it was a shrill nag-fest about how to make people like you, written by an insecure, vainglorious woman who attempts and fails at being the Larry David of female sexual awkwardness."
(Oct. 2, 2009, Street Boners and TV Carnage)

Friday, July 9, 2010

The Rosa Parks of lawfully prosecuted drunk-driving, multiple probation violating coke whores

"And Lindsay apparently thinks that her civil rights are being violated because she’s being sent to prison. Bitch thinks she’s the Rosa Parks of lawfully prosecuted drunk-driving, multiple probation violating coke whores! Lindsay will NOT be sent to the back of the bus! She Twittered this mess this other night. There’s some other bullshit, too. I think her Twitter should be renamed #Some Other Bullshit."
(July 9, 2010, J. Harvey)

The Homer Simpson of apostles

"My favorite apostle has to be Peter. Peter is, without a doubt, the Homer Simpson of apostles. He is constantly screwing up and you can just imagine him saying, 'D'oh!' every time. The day after Christ was crucified, He decides to go fishing. This makes me laugh because Peter is a horrible fisherman. Everytime in the bible when he goes fishing, he never catches anything. This time is no different. Him and a few other disciples spend that day and the next night fishing and catch NOTHING! Then, on Easter morning, some guy comes and walks up to the shore and says, "Hey, try throwing your net out over the other side of the boat. Miraculously, they catch 153 fish, nearly destroying the net. Peter, being one of the only apostles to recognize Jesus, puts all of his clothes on and actually jumps into the water and swims to shore. Then him and Christ ate breakfast together."
(April 10, 2005, philly2themax, Livejournal)

Thursday, July 8, 2010

The Marmaduke of chickens

"That's me checking out a buff Orpington, a breed so friendly that it has been called the 'Marmaduke of chickens.'"
(Oct. 20, 2008, Katherine Miller, The Oregonian)

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

The Jimmy Kimmel of mumbly guitar gods

"Last night, Saul 'Slash' Hudson appeared on 'The Tonight Show w/ Chinny McWeaselJerk' to play some pile of musical glop from his new solo effort, Slash, and the top-hatted cigarette transport stuck it the man one more time by sporting a 'Team Coco' pin on his requisite leather jacket. has a funny look at how the NBC camera people did all they could not to highlight Slash’s support of company pariah Conan O’Brien. Way to rub it in Jay’s face, Slashy. You’re the Jimmy Kimmel of mumbly guitar gods."
(April 7, 2010, James Greene, Jr., Crawdaddy!)

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

The Billy Joel of the mohawk set

"My eyes are being opened to the minor works of David Bowie. And I'm not convinced more than ever that if Rancid didn't have such a stupid name they'd be the Billy Joel of the mohawk set. That's a compliment. Really."
(Feb. 18, 2009, Goo Goo Please)

Monday, July 5, 2010

The Hattori Hanzo of sonic ballsuppedness

"@fabeku may be the Hattori Hanzou of sonic ballsuppedness and has a killer website."
(June 4, 2010, Elana, Twitter)

Friday, July 2, 2010

The Ralph Wiggum of cities

"It can't be that bad, except that Cleveland has never won a professional sports title in anything ever, and they are usually ranked among the Top 10 Most obese cities. Basically, Cleveland is the Ralph Wiggum of cities."
(Dec. 16, 2009, Matt, Every Day, Another Song)

Thursday, July 1, 2010

The Beyonce of hedge fund investing

"Hedge fund manager Steven Mandis of Halcyon manages billions but he also has a side job: teaching a group of Harlem students about investing. View original post here: Meet The Beyonce Of Hedge Fund Investing: Steven Mandis"
(March 30, 2010, Distressed Assets Coalition)