The Ralph Waldo Emerson of shooting people in their stupid faces

"Instead of freaking out, put yourself in a better mindset: you’re the Gandhi of gaming. You’re the Dalai Lama of digital destruction. You’re the Ralph Waldo Emerson of shooting people in their stupid faces. If you’re losing your cool, you’re going to continue to lose at the game. So, focus. You can do that. I know you can because you do it all the time before you want to rage-quit. You know you can do it too."
(Jan. 11, 2011, Joey Hefilch, Piki Geek)

The LeBron James of sleep

"I used to be an enviable sleeper. It was what I could do. Some can dance, sing, decipher knitting instructions and make a sweater---I could sleep. Deeply. Easily. I was the Lebron James of sleep. In fact, if the Olympics included a sleeping event, I would have represented the U.S. proudly and come home with a gold."
(April 12, 2011, Susan Szold, Susan Says)

The Bugs Bunny of medieval murder

"I still don't understand exactly what Morgan's relationship with Evil Nun is all about, but I know I loved her whole frail old woman routine this episode. She's like the Bugs Bunny of medieval murder or something with her trickery."
(May 2, 2011, Mindy Monez, Television Without Pity)

The Bruce Wayne of microbes

"Plus, until the Batmobile is superseded as the most desirable car of all time, we might as well encourage the Bruce Wayne of microbes to do what it does best. Given the amount of energy Lovley and associates have managed to produce from selected Geobacter microbes, its powers may someday be harnessed under the hood on the road to a cleaner, brighter future."
(March 28, 2011, Suzanne Winter, Small Things Considered)

The David Hasselhoff of eating shit off the floor

"My dog is the David Hasselhoff of eating shit off the floor."
(July 23, 2011, Shari Vanderwerf, Twitter)

The Chewbacca of shoes

"I think he got too cocky with the Jeffrey Campbell Roks shoe... he simply took this one a step too far... The Chewbacca of shoes."
(April 22, 2011, Et Cetera)

The Michael Phelps of forgetting to bring a towel to the gym, then having to shame-dry with a hand towel

"I'm the Michael Phelps of forgetting to bring a towel to the gym, then having to shame-dry with a hand towel."
(July 22, 2011, Adrienne Valenza, Twitter)

The Victoria Beckham of crusts

"Mmmm, I went to lunch today at Savor Healthy Pizza in Norwalk, Conn. This place is all organic, has vegan options and the thinnest of the thin crust. Seriously, they have the Victoria Beckham of crusts. And, they have whole wheat, spelt (spelt!!!), and gluten-free corn crusts. Bangerang, Rufio!"
(July 7, 2011, Sexy Tofu)

The Shia LaBeouf of dinosaurs

"Goddamn velociraptor! You remember the fizzy dinosaur egg from the other day? Well here's another one, except this one was orange and doubly fizzy (and refreshing). Inside, lying in wait was the most evil and clever bastard of all dinosaurs, the raptor. We really should thank the real Stephen Spielberg for this, because prior to Jurassic Park, nobody knew what the hell a velociraptor was. But now, thanks to Stephen Spielberg, they are among the most famous of dinosaurs. This makes the velociraptor the Shia LaBeouf of dinosaurs. In fact, before Jurassic Park, they were known as VelociCRAPtors."
(Dec 21, 2008, Luke Milton Writes)

The Bela Lugosi of ocean science

"The positive changes described in this book make it a bit more optimistic than the grim predictions of Jeremy Jackson, the Bela Lugosi of ocean science, who focuses on what's disappearing from our oceans, and presumably gone forever."
(April 3, 2011, Mark Powell, Blogfish)

The David Stern of the universe

"How blessed it is to know that the our Coach is Omnipotent. And since He has unlimited power, God is not only our coach but the David Stern of the universe. And just like at least two of the NBA teams have done, our Commissioner can pick us up, move us to a better place, and give us a new name. This is comforting because despite how bad things have gotten, what happened, or who/what you lost….its not over until He says so. Beloved, its important to remember the playoff/war is fixed. He has already ordered for you to have the victory. (if you just do what He says)"
(April 28, 2011, Wheat Street Baptist Church)

The Colin Farrell of the chicken world

"There is no finer sight than Colin strutting around the orchard while the girls make eyes at him. Colin the Cockerel he may be but he's the Colin Farrell of the chicken world, ruggedly handsome but with just a hint of danger. I couldn't bear to eat him. So if anyone wants a rather splendid black cockerel who is sure to keep the ladies happy let me know."
(Jan 13, 2011, The River Cottage Diaries)

The Johnny Depp of the ocean

"There is something sexy about scallops; they are the Johnny Depp of the ocean. Although not really when they are raw; here is my outdoor eating experience with raw scallops."
(Feb. 18, 2011, Our Kitchen)

The Ben Bradlee of phone hacking

"The Ben Bradlee of Phone Hacking 'Guardian' editor Alan Rusbridger wouldn't let investigation die"
(July 14, 2011, Dylan Byers, Adweek)

The Ralph Lauren of kangaroos

"Now saying this in a forum full of tech designers may sound treasonous, but at the end of the day, the hardest thing to do is to sell the stuff for a profit. As you develop your product, keep that daunting task in mind. Don’t use crappy hang tags and labels. The devil is in the details. Of course if your clothing would only fit a kangaroo, then you have a pretty serious problem. You can be saved from being the Ralph Lauren of kangaroos by following the rules as Kathleen points out."
(Jan. 4, 2011, Jay Arbetman, Fashion Incubator)

The Brett Favre of daytime television

"Do we really think she can stay away? She’s going to be the Brett Favre of daytime television, minus the penis texts. God, I hope it’s minus the penis texts."
(May 25, 2011, The Bro Show)

The Louis C.K. of bad QBs

"(Aside: there's been lots and lots of terrible quarterback play all across the board this year, but nobody does it with as much zeal as Jay Cutler. He's the Louis CK of bad QBs - he makes me laugh more than anyone else.)"
(Oct. 17, 2010, Tiger Woods Fist Pump)

The Aristotle of urine bottles

"The Socrates of Fromunda Cheese. The Aristotle of Urine Bottles."
(May 18, 2011, The Diary of Daedalus)

The Joan of Arc of illicit office romance

"She came in early and slipped the note under a patient file on his desk. She felt sad, but resolute, almost martyr-like. She was doing the right thing. She was the Joan of Arc of illicit office romance."
(April 20, 2011, allthingsdecent, Livejournal)

The Tupac of economics bloggers

"Recreational drugs certainly seem to evoke creativity; Freud was likely high as a weather balloon when he first used the term subconscious. If Robin Hanson is a typical post-parental economist, I’d think that children probably have a similar creative effect, as Wolfers suggests. RH churns out for innovative theory on this blog than most economics departments produce in total. He’s like the Tupac of economics bloggers, to the extent that I’d expect new ideas to keep popping out long after he’s been cryonically frozen."
(June 17, 2011, Overcoming Bias)

The Paris Hilton of waterfalls

"The coast of Northland is one huge expanse of beach after another and we spent most of the weekend driving from one to the next, smugly remarking on how lucky we were to live within such close proximity of so many beautiful places and having the fortune to travel in such style (did I mention that we really like our van?!). En route we visited what the locals call the 'Paris Hilton of waterfalls' – not the most beautiful waterfall in New Zealand, but the most photographed."
(June 23, 2011, Alex and Tash's Big Trip)

The Bjorn Borg of the smorgasbord

"Shea on Chestnut - 'He can pick up his 5th straight and be the Bjorn Borg of the smorgasbord.'"
(Matt Yoder, July 5, 2011, Awful Announcing)

The Gary Busey of herbs

"Dill. The Gary Busey of herbs."
(July 5, 2011, Dwight Garner, Twitter)

The Yogi Berra of German theologians

"Luther was the Yogi Berra of German theologians."
(June 13, 2011, Pastoral Meanderings)

The Rod Blagojevich of the horse world

"HSUS bears a chunk of the responsibility for the tragedy of animal suffering and abandonment that has befallen the magnificent equine. It was at the front of the ill-fated closure of horse slaughter plants, which severely diminished the value of all horses. HSUS is the Rod Blagojevich of the horse world."
(Oct. 6, 2010, Frank DuBois, The Westerner)

The Nostradamus of emoticons

"Vladimir Nabokov: The Nostradamus of emoticons"
(July 1, 2011, Maggie Koerth-Baker, Boing Boing)

The Carlos Mencia of clairvoyant robots

"So why is the Web-bot predicting a cataclysmic event in 2012? Because end of the world alarmists are flooding the Internet with tons of information alleging some apocalyptic occurrence in 2012, that's why. Seriously, it's the Carlos Mencia of clairvoyant robots."
(June 11, 2009, Luis Prada, Cracked)