Tuesday, March 31, 2009

The Babe Ruth of lingerie models

"Irina Sheik is the Babe Ruth of lingerie models

Yes, I know her real name is Irina Shaykhlislamova, but I prefer the shorter version she uses on occasion. It's sexier. Even more amazing than her body and face is the fact that this is the first full post I have done on this woman... Thank goodness for Intimissimi lingerie..."
(March 3, 2009, Stuff Guys Like)

Monday, March 30, 2009

The Paul Newman of bathtub booze

"Drake: You’ve pregamed. You’re out with your buddies getting some beers and 'Oh look, shady high-proof alcohol with Danny DeVito’s face on it.' He’d be like the Paul Newman of bathtub booze."
(The Zaz)

Sunday, March 29, 2009

The Vic Mackey of the feline world

"The ashes of my predecessor, Oscar, sit in the corner, but I- the Vic Mackey of the feline world- am waiting for you Appleyard. Spit, spit, hiss."
(July 27, 2007, Thought Experiments)

Saturday, March 28, 2009

The Frank Costanza of US Weekly collectors

"OMG julie that's awesome! Jebus loves an 'adaptable' man.

And Lisa, Serenity Now! You are the Frank Costanza of US Weekly collectors."
(Feb. 8, 2006, This Magazine)

Friday, March 27, 2009

The Captain Kirk of evangelicalism

"I'm glad we agree on some things. I have always had a soft spot for Ravi. I have always considered RC as sort of the Captain Kirk of evangelicalism"
(May 5, 2008, sbe)

Thursday, March 26, 2009

The Drew Barrymore of par-3s

"Now there was an uneasiness among the dogwoods, a sickening feeling, as Norman came to the one hole you do not want to come to after blowing a six-shot lead. It is the 12th, the Drew Barrymore of par-3s: small, gorgeous and sheer trouble. Norman had left that one ball on the bank on Friday and another in the water on Saturday, and the way he was swinging, the green must have looked like a TV tray."
(April 22, 1996, Rick Reilly, Sports Illustrated)

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

The Mr. Furley of UNIX companies

"SCO, the Mr. Furley of UNIX companies."
(Jan. 29, 2006, OS News)

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

The Chevy Chase of operating systems

"Microsoft Bob, Gerald Ford, the Chevy Chase of Operating Systems if you will. You could argue that MS Bob wasn't really an OS, but then again, Gerald Ford was never actually elected either."
(July 16, 2007, Livejournal)

Monday, March 23, 2009

The A-Rod of successful public education

"Ben - I don’t think we need a corporate CEO running the school district, who knows nothing about education. But we do need an expert on cutting-edge educational theory, who will care more about increasing the high school grad rate than their own bottom line. If the candidate wants a chauffeur or a security guard, then find someone else. If a candidate during their interview comes prepared to put forth a 5-year plan to accomplish real substantive change that has been proven to work elsewhere - without a fancy consulting fee attached, then hire him/her.

But if we have to pay a pretty penney to get the A.Rod of successful public education, then so be it."
(April 6, 2008, WE Blog)

Sunday, March 22, 2009

The Zeus of big league groundball machines

"If Brandon Webb is the Zeus of big league groundball machines, Derek Lowe must be Hephaestus (or Apollo, if you wish), churning out a higher ratio of grounders to flies than any starting pitcher excepting Webb. Here are the top ten Machina Humus-Pila over the past four seasons among pitchers with at least 80 game starts."
(Jan. 2, 2009, Amazin' Avenue)

Saturday, March 21, 2009

The R2D2 of ropes

"The R2D2 of ropes
So I had to go GA for a final fitting for my Honda...
Dawson, Caitlin and I get about 30 minutes down the road and my van has a heart attack. We obtained a large crack in the radiator and lost all water in a very short time, so insta-over heatage. Blew the head gasket and probably more damage. My dad had to tow my full size conversion van with a 6 cylinder Ranger running on 5 cylinders, but it worked! Dawson has never been pulled before (no power steering or brakes), so that was fun. We ran over the rope 3 times and thought it was gonna snap every time, but it held true! Just like Vanamus used to do *tear*"
(Dec. 13, 2006, Livejournal)

Friday, March 20, 2009

The baby Jesus of the Carolina basketball world

"It is more than well-documented that Rashad McCants has done very little throughout his career to warrant the belief that he can be a team-player in a system that evangelizes team-play. The stories that swirl around McCants' brooding bench displays, those long, bewildering stares into space, and his dismissal from the USA Basketball team this summer have never prompted anyone to nominate Rashad McCants as the "Baby Jesus" of the Carolina Basketball world."
(Oct. 22, 2004, Bret Dougherty, Tar Heel Daily)

Thursday, March 19, 2009

The Colonel Kurtz of treasury secretaries

"We have a treasury secretary in America - Hank Paulson. I'm afraid he's gone insane. He's become like the Colonel Kurtz of Treasury Secretaries. He's gone native. He's co-opted trillions of dollars of American taxpayers' money and he's playing hedge fund like a rogue trader. We have got a rogue trader in the Treasury Secretary's office. He's being aided and abetted by Ben Bernanke who's been discredited as the entire Federal Reserve Bank has been utterly discredited. We're looking at a possible inflationary depression in America and the worse is yet to come, much worse is yet to come."
(Sept. 22, 2008, Max Keiser, Seeking Alpha)

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

The Daffy Duck of Hong Kong marital arts superstars

"Stephen Chow is the Daffy Duck of Hong Kong marital arts superstars. Far more subversive than Jackie Chan ever was, and endearingly idiosyncratic compared to other cookie cutter action stars (especially the muscled voids of today), the 45 year old maverick stands as the genre’s biggest undiscovered superstar. Sure, Western audiences were wowed by the cartoonish chaos of 2001’s Shaolin Soccer and 2004’s Kung Fu Hustle, but Chow had been part of the Asian entertainment industry for more than two decades before making it big across the Atlantic. Of course, through our narrow, near xenophobic view of the modern motion picture, he seemed like an overnight sensation."
(Feb. 10, 2008, Bill Gibron, Pop Matters)

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

The Xenu of brewskies

"Fuck me....what day is it again? That beer was the archetype from which all other inferior beers is derived....it was like the Xenu of Brewskies."
(Feb. 15, 2008, Virgilio Musica)

Monday, March 16, 2009

The Dan Rather of Indianapolis Colts blogs

"Short term, though, I just want to get an interview with BigBlueShoe. He's the Dan Rather of Indianapolis Colts Blogs."
(Oct. 8, 2008, Deadspin)

Sunday, March 15, 2009

The Richard Nixon of popes

"What, is this pope the Richard Nixon of popes?"
(Feb. 4, 2009, Yeshiva World News)

Saturday, March 14, 2009

The Aquaman of the hip hop world

"Uggh….its like watching a super hero movie starring Aqua Lad, Elongated Man, Firestorm, Mr. Terrific, Blue Beetle, and Animal Man, brought toghether for no fucking reason by the Aquaman of the Hip Hop world, DJ Kay Slay."
(Sept. 4, 2008, 2dopeboyz)

Friday, March 13, 2009

The Marisa Tomei of questionable safety initiatives

"SF Crime Cameras are the Marisa Tomei of Questionable Safety Initiatives"
(July 17, 2008, Andy Wright, San Francisco Weekly)

Thursday, March 12, 2009

The Strawberry Shortcake of the NBA

"Reportedly, our sources (Yahoo!) reveal that Shaq was quoted to have said, 'I’m really too old to be trying to outscore 18-year-olds. It’s not really my role anymore.'

We have no proof that he went on to say, 'Dwight Howard is the Strawberry Shortcake of the NBA.' However, it's entirely possible he could have had the opportunity to say it. In fact, we consider it highly likely."
(March 4, 2009, Bright Side of the Sun)

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

The Yoda of beads

"They are so beautiful! I had so much fun making these! You are the Yoda of beads to me!"
(Jan. 31, 2009, Touch of Glass Designs)

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

The Frankenberry of American politics

"I smoked so much pot during the last presidential campaign, I actually think I voted for him. Now sober and straight, I can assuredly state that that doesn't seem like quite the best decision. Huh. Yet, I still can't say how I feel about the Frankenberry of American politics on the opposing side either. And face it: You're not so sure yourself."
(Aug. 30, 2004, The Black Table)

Monday, March 9, 2009

The Bill Cosby of manic white Jewish chicks

"Update to my orginal advice - stop being poor and black, but if you must be black, at least have the decency to be Korean! Also, EVERYBODY’S BANNED! PS I am so the Bill Cosby of manic white Jewish chicks!"
(Aug. 17, 2008, Sadly, No!)

Sunday, March 8, 2009

The Three Stooges of Italian opera

"'They're the Three Stooges of Italian opera,' Jones said. 'They're all perky and bouncing off the wall, but they sing beautifully together.'"
(Jan. 18, 2009, Everything Alabama)

Saturday, March 7, 2009

The Cookie Monster of broadcast news journalism

"Olbermann is the Cookie Monster of broadcast news journalism. Why anyone would give him his own TV show is beyond me."
(June 15, 2008, Newsbusters)

Friday, March 6, 2009

The Neil Armstrong of the Jesus shout out

"Cardinals quarterback Kurt Warner, formerly Rams two-time MVP and Super Bowl champ Kurt Warner, has long been known for his cannon arm and deadly accuracy ... and penchant for fumbling in key situations. Well, out in the desert Warner finally seems to be turning the page on his whole fumbling issues and is throwing plenty of touchdown passes. Unfortunately for the rest of us, he hasn't kicked his habit of thanking the good lord above for each and every pass he's allowed to lob up, which you see him doing on ESPN in this clip. Seriously, this guy is like the Neil Armstrong of the Jesus shout out, and he's not giving up the ghost. Enjoy at your own risk, whether it's with pithy cynicism or honest appreciation for his faith in Jesus."
(The Daily Tube)

Thursday, March 5, 2009

The Dennis Rodman of gardening

"Des Kennedy, above, has been described as 'the Dennis Rodman of gardening.' My husband thinks he looks like Julia Child."
(Jan. 10, 2007, Heavy Petal)

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

The Walter Payton of Russian literature

"if we’re sticking to literature, i’ve got solzhenitsyn, the walter payton of russian literature. one went from jackson state to the rushing record, the other from the gulag to the nobel prize."
(April 28, 2007, EDSBS)

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

The Boba Fett of Miami Vice

"Jim's like the Boba Fett of Miami Vice, he didn't have lots of screen time, but we're still talking about him."
(Sept. 28, 2007, Miami-Vice.org Forum)

Monday, March 2, 2009

The Priscilla Presley of the BBQ world

"Rattlers has become the Priscilla Presley of the BBQ world. They had perfectly good food and a decent location. Like Priscilla's face, they should have left things the way they were. Why mess with something if there's nothing wrong?"
(March 19, 2008, Yelp)

Sunday, March 1, 2009

The Lance Armstrong of the San Antonio water system

"Elephant Ears: F
Okay, I should have known better. But I was remembering the ginormous ones in my mother's garden and I succumbed. I forgot that she was the Lance Armstrong of the San Antonio water system and stood over her elephant ears with a running hose 24/7. My bad."
(Sept. 14, 2008, Aurora Primavera)