Thursday, June 30, 2011

The Nolan Ryan of rom-coms

"A case could be made that Reynolds simply had bad luck, a bad agent, or both. Switch him with Cooper in The Hangover and what happens? It's the exact same movie, only with Reynolds getting the subsequent career bump instead of Cooper. His best performance happened as part of an ensemble cast in 2009's Adventureland, a quality dramedy that tanked despite excellent reviews. His most successful movie was 2009's The Proposal, a Sandra Bullock vehicle from beginning to end (and the one that established her as the Nolan Ryan of rom-coms)."
(June 30, 2011, Bill Simmons, Grantland)

The Rihanna of comic book writers

"We also have a huge load of comics discussion: Fear Itself, Flashpoint, and the Marvel Ultimate Comics re-launch. We share how some of us met Nick Spencer (he’s the Rihanna of comic book writers and creator of the hit comic Morning Glories!), and hear about all the naughty Green Lanterns caught in the act during War of the Green Lanterns!"
(June 1, 2011, Nerdy Show)

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

The Justin Timberlake of classic French literature

"See this? It’s a flashmob in Poland of people singing 'One Day More' from Les Miserables. It’s totes calculated — it was set up to promote the show — but we don’t even care. Wait for the moment when Enjolrasthe Justin Timberlake of classic French literature — starts singing and a bunch of little girls start screaming. Our thoughts exactly, gals. Our thoughts exactly."
(May 20, 2011, The Craptacular)

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

The Fran Drescher of batshit-crazy, Bible-thumpin' governors

"She's the Fran Drescher of batshit-crazy, Bible-thumpin' governors."
(March 26, 2009, TPM)

Monday, June 27, 2011

The Smokey Robinson of the NBA

"Is Lenny Wilkens the Smokey Robinson of the NBA?"
(June 27, 2011, Ben Greenman, Twitter)

The Def Leppard of management consulting

"It’s a bold claim, I know. Metz Consulting is the Def Leppard of management consulting. Say what you will. You know it’s true. We have substantiated four points below to demonstrate how we have achieved competency at this level of 'rock'."
(Nov. 17, 2009, Metz Consulting)

Sunday, June 26, 2011

The Leon Trotsky of competitive Candy Land players

"@grahamfoust the Leon Trotsky of competitive Candy Land players"
(June 26, 2011, Sean Bishop, Twitter)

The Kardashian of breakfast foods

"The French toast I just made is an abomination against the world. It is the Kardashian of breakfast foods."
(June 26, 2011, A.S. Paul, Twitter)

Friday, June 24, 2011

The John Holmes of Eskimo kissing

"I wonder if Adrien Brody is like the John Holmes of Eskimo kissing."
(June 24, 2011,
Julius Sharpe, Twitter)

The Thomas Edison of meat

"For some reason, whenever I grill, I find myself in the situation of having more burgers than buns. This is fine for the actual BBQ, because there’s always enough food to go around, but things get awkward when it comes time to eat the leftovers. Somewhere towards the bottom of the pile of refrigerated patties, you run out of buns, and that’s when you turn into the Thomas Edison of meat. You’re wrapping patties in pita bread. You’re sticking them between english muffins. You’re breaking them into your cereal. You’re willing to try whatever you can do to use them up without actually making, you know, hamburgers."
(May 17, 2011, The Blogging)

Thursday, June 23, 2011

The Howard Stern of mommy manuals

"The main point is, we all spend a lot of time judging other people for how they parent and the result is people like Tiger Lady capitalizing on it in the form of radical parenting books. She’s counting on people who think she has a good idea to buy her books and flock to her signings. She’s also counting on people who think everything about her sucks to show up at her events and yell at her and generate press. She’s a parenting shock-jock, the Howard Stern of mommy manuals. And just like I can’t worked up about Howard Stern, I can’t get worked up about her either. I’ve got my own kid to raise my own way."
(June 24, 2011, Mom-In-A-Million)

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

The Dr. Phil of my ass cheeks

"@weirdoboy729 You’re the Dr. Phil of my ass cheeks. <3 see you tomorrow honey."
(June 2, 1011, Funny Cat

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

The Donald Rumsfeld of the DC Universe

"Even when I did have strong ideas, they would quickly be watered down or weakened -- sometimes through editorial guidance, sometimes through my own misguided attempts to produce what I imagined DC wanted. I don't know. Maybe if I'd just said ‘Damn it, I want to write these comics the way I wrote Pickle -- slow and meandering and playful and personal, with very little violence or macho posturing and plenty of sitting around discussing the meaning of life!’ -- maybe they'd have been thrilled. Or if I'd written about Batman as the Donald Rumsfeld of the DC Universe, and his ‘war on crime’ as analogous to the ‘war on terror,’ about the need to end drug prohibition, about the way fetishising violence poisons and corrupts lives and societies -- maybe my editors would have said ‘hooray -- at last he's doing what we hired him for!’ [Spurgeon laughs] But because I never had the courage or wherewithal to do that (and because I'd spent so long struggling financially!), I will never know."
(Dec. 30, 2010, Dylan Horracks, The Comics Reporter)

Monday, June 20, 2011

The Stephen Fry of puddings

"By now, what we had come to realise was that Fiona Were’s gift is in letting the ingredients speak for themselves. And so it was with L’s apple crumble and vanilla ice cream. Homely and warming, the apple crumble is the Stephen Fry of puddings – impossible to hate. L loved it but had eaten enough and was enjoying the rest of the wine, so I took the liberty of the simply served crumble for her."
(May 3, 2011, Sam Lynas, Barefoot Media)

Friday, June 17, 2011

The Betty White of Basset Hounds

"Cleopatra--or Cleo for short, is the Betty White of Basset Hounds! Cleo acts like a dog half her true age--she's classy lady who goes for the laughs in life."
(March 12, 2011, eBay Classifieds)

Thursday, June 16, 2011

The Barack Obama of douches

"Nobody can match our douche factor, dammit.
We’re like the Barack Obama of douches."
(Dec. 15, 2010, EDSBS)

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

The Howard Stern of Gallic cuisine

"Subsequent episodes saw an increasing decline in Perlingine’s mental state. He frequently insulted and threatened guests, and on several occasions he struck them. He would drink during the show, and by the end of an episode he was often so tipsy as to be unable to find the stove. But the ratings soared. Perlingine was billed as 'the Howard Stern of Gallic cuisine', and outside the studio the scalpers demanded hundreds of dollars for good seats on days when an unusually resilient or fleet-footed guest was scheduled to appear with their troublesome host."
(March 19, 2011, Chef Jobs and Careers)

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

The Britney Spears of Palestinian politics

"From his beginning as a journalist, then a career politician, Erekat became what could resemble the Britney Spears of Palestinian politics."
(Feb. 16, 2011, The Middle Beast)

Monday, June 13, 2011

The Sarah Silverman of televised financial news

"@fred: Denis Kneale is the Sarah Silverman of televised financial news."
(May 28, 2010, Business Insider)

Sunday, June 12, 2011

The Jennifer Aniston of getting rings

"Lebron James is the Jennifer Aniston of getting rings."
(June 12, 2011, _TomBrady, Twitter)

Friday, June 10, 2011

The Brad Pitt of deities

"Still, Scorsese touched on something that most people would rather not say out loud (or even admit to themselves): Jesus is the Brad Pitt of deities. At least that’s how he’s been presented visually for so many centuries. Once Hollywood brought the Savior to the silver screen, Jesus became the hottest leading man of all. And a lot of sexy actors have walked on water in his shoes. So in honor of Easter, we decided to resurrect photos of some of our favorite movie messiahs."
(April 21, 2011, Daily)

Thursday, June 9, 2011

The Three Stooges of psycho-babble

"Ah, but, the prime direction of that one voice, libidinous inclinations that stoke prurient intents, is singularly focused on self-gratification. This, at any cost, for the lofty heights of self-promotion. Working with the three stooges of psycho-babble, the paranormal, political and the planetary conspiracies distract and elude the necessity for common sense. There is a duality of choice in this willful self-interest for this level of thinking, either do or do not. As to gonzo theory, that is the strong sense of investigative skepticism, cynical attribution toward fallacies of inference, all animated by a practitioner’s viewpoint from the real-world of experience."
(May 22, 2011, Social)

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

The Larry David of yoga students

"I am actually, like, 95% ‘cool’ with my yoga teacher’s languaging. I tend to be very critical about what teachers say in class and how they say it (I can’t help it; I’m like the Larry David of yoga students), and if something irritates me too much for too long, I’ll turn to a podcast for class instead, like the one teacher who said ‘really’ in almost every sentence (‘Really feel your sitz bones pressing into the ground,’ ‘Really lengthen the breath,’ ‘Really press those feet into the mat and really feel alive’).
(May 22, 2011, Flowtation Devices)

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

The Beyonce of James Cameron’s giant Smurf dreams

"It’s like Luna Lovegood and Ronald McDonald had a baby together, and she became the Beyonce of James Cameron’s giant smurf dreams."
(May 5, 2011, Funny Videos Here)

Monday, June 6, 2011

The Satan of pork

"I rarely feel deprived eating like this, surprisingly. When I’m chomping on pepper-bacon and an omelette every morning, I’m looking at Alex and we’re saying, 'Is it really okay to eat like this?' Because for so long I believed bacon was the satan of pork, or of dieting in general, and it’s difficult to change what you believe. But so far, I feel good and the other benefit of this kind of eating is that it’s easy to plan. Just don’t eat carbs."
(May 21, 2011, Wisermom)

Sunday, June 5, 2011

The Aslan of the NBA

"Jason Kidd is the Aslan of the NBA; an aged all knowing soul with keen eyesight in perfect control of the court of Narnia! What a pass!"
(June 5, 2011, TheBillWalton, Twitter)

Friday, June 3, 2011

The Johnny Carson of copulation

"This was my introduction to Dr. Sawyer, and I was surprised by how funny he was. Whether through describing outdated sexual attitudes or how students interact, he had the mixed audience rolling like a late night talk show host. Who knew we had the Jay Leno of libido, the Letterman of lust, the Johnny Carson of copulation in our school?"
(Feb. 13, 2009, Bobby McMahon, University of Maryland School of Public Health)

Thursday, June 2, 2011

The Dennis Rodman of the Republican Party

"Just when I thought the field of Republican Presidential candidates was overcrowded with foolishness, Dr. Ron Paul finagled his way in to prove that the GOP has no limit on animus towards marginalized communities. Before I go any further, let me make myself clear: I am not married to any particular political party. I don’t believe monogamy should exist in politics, that’s why I’m single. Nevertheless, I couldn’t let a week go by without airing my frustration about Paul’s recent statement that he would have voted against the Civil Rights Act. I wasn’t too suprised to hear this coming from Paul. He’s like the Dennis Rodman of the Republican Party, very colorful and many times politically incorrect, but an all-star nonetheless."
(May 17, 2011, Black Youth Project)

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

The Clark Kent of restaurant exteriors

"There was a review of a French diner in the NY Times. It was still early in the evening so we gave it a shot... As we popped out of the subway station at Hunters Point, it was a bit confusing, not being familiar with Long Island City and all. The source of comfort was merely steps away though. That comfort cames in the form of a French diner. It had the Clark Kent of restaurant exteriors. Much like the comic book hero, the outside did not give clues to the true nature of what laid within. Inside was something unfamiliar and delicious."
(April 6, 2011, food-in-mouth)