Saturday, February 28, 2009

The Barbara Bush of the air force

"The MiG-21, despite being the Barbara Bush of the air force, is still much cheaper, simpler and easier to maintain than the more complicated and expensive MiG-23 and MiG-29. There's still a large number of MiG-21 operators vs 23 and 29 operators and parts are easier to find. Plus there's ALOT of companies offering upgrades to the MiG-21.. thus it makes a cost effective interim solution until something better could be acquired. It is likely that this 'better' aircraft will be western, so why not upgrade it with western avionics and get the pilots used to them beforehand."
(Dec. 27, 2004, Key Publishing Ltd. Aviation Forums)

Friday, February 27, 2009

The Karl Rove of husband-dom

"I tried to conduct the 'business' I have with my husband with the highest of standards this evening, but he's like the Karl Rove of husband-dom. - he turns everything around on me and tries to make me feel like it's my fault for our problems."
(Aug. 26, 2008, ADHD and Marriage)

The George Jetson of breakfast

"Hey morning glory, want to be the hero in the morning with your kids? Whip pancakes in seconds without the mess. Make pancakes in a flash that will Aunt Jemima blush. Be the George Jetson of breakfast. With a swish and presto, Batter Blaster is the trick. Just spray the pancakes on the pan and you are ready to go. For all the accident prone dads out there, this is the perfect solution for you."
(Jan. 2, 2008, Sandbox World)

Thursday, February 26, 2009

The Sideshow Bob of newsreaders

"Radar, I'm sorry that you had to interview this egotistical bag of wind, but I admire the balls it took to do it. And it was great that you finally put Karma's blog right in his smug face. Of course, you didn't get an answer, just an unintelligible tap-dance about 'truth' and 'journalism' and 'legally true,' not to mention 'doing anonymous stories about myself.' How can one do anonymous stories about one's self? And didn't he essentially say that what was said on Karma's blog is true? He sounds like Bill Clinton (no offense to you, Bubba) parsing the word 'is.' What a tool. He's the Sideshow Bob of newsreaders, not the next Murrow."
(Dec. 4, 2006, Radar Online)

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

The Dan Savage of Canadian political commentary

"Rick Mercer, of Codco/This Hour Has 22 Minutes/Talking To Americans fame, now has a blog, which you can get as an RSS feed for your LJ friends page. This is, in my view, the best thing to hit LJ's syndicated feeds section since Savage Love. And in fact, now that I think of it, I suppose Rick Mercer is kind of like the Dan Savage of Canadian political commentary, so I guess there's a parallel there."
(June 24, 2005, Livejournal)

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

The Neil Young of Star Trek

"Good God Man, 'Has Been' was one of the greatest albums of the oughts! No one is meaner than Shatner to Shatner. Buy the album - it's great, lots of guest musicians, produced by Ben Folds. Seriously! Shatner was the Neil Young of Star Trek, George is the Graham Nash. (Spock is obviously Stills, Bones is obviously Stills)."
(Nov. 13, 2008, Huffington Post)

Monday, February 23, 2009

The Britney Spears of planets

"The Tracker’s head is spinning like a hot jupiter cooked with too many plasmatically searing eruptions of confusing and somewhat repetitive news. One thing is sure: for a place without a common name a world called HD 189733b has gotten a lot of attention the last two days. It’s the Britney Spears of planets - in the news with or without much new to say. We read of it about two weeks ago. And before that, about a year ago. (OK, starlets and other young, pretty, and unpredictable entertainment stars get more ink than this real star). All this due to the gases - CO2 and H2O - in its atmosphere as revealed in spectra that the NASA space telescopes Hubble and Spitzer have gathered. The science here is wonderful - I just don’t understand the news flow."
(Dec. 11, 2008, Knight Science Journalism Tracker)

Saturday, February 21, 2009

The Dr. Frankenstein of the footwear world

"It would certainly be a conversation starter! Like, if I saw someone wearing those, I would say…'Hey, are you the Dr. Frankenstein of the footwear world?'"
(May 14, 2007, Shoe 'n' Tell)

Friday, February 20, 2009

The Nostradamus of hair products

"Damn. Why did I have to be the Nostradamus of hair products? Why couldn't I predict things like lottery numbers? Oh well. Glad you liked them. Although the stilettos on the wet floor thing sounds kind of frightening:) Thanks!"
(Nov. 17, 2008, babyassface)

Thursday, February 19, 2009

The Michael Moore of Chicago hot dogs

"Harold LaRue is also known as the Michael Moore of Chicago Hot Dogs. However, when Tim brought a tray of eats to the table, I think Harold was mildly shocked."
(Nov. 17, 2008, CMH Gourmand)

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

The Spice Girls of the Ancient World and Other Scary Relics

The Tom Brady of mainstream editorial board man-crushes

"It was the perfect Super Tuesday combo:

A White Castle sack on the seat next to me, political talk on the radio andflooring the gas pedal on grandma’s big blue Caddy down the Stevenson.

John McCain’s voice came out of the speakers, trying to fight off a pack ofconservative radio reservoir dogs who were barking for flip-flopper MittRomney. About a quarter-mile ahead was a U.S. senator rushing home to vote.

It was Barack Obama, the so-called Princess Diana of America’s celebritypolitics, or, as I prefer to call him, the media’s beloved and gentle Mr.Tumnus of the presidential campaign. Either way, he’s the Tom Brady of mainstream editorial board man-crushes."
(Feb. 6, 2008, John Kass, Chicago Tribune)

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

The Betty Boop of budgets

"Now, I’m no economist, but I can see through this baby as if she were made of Glad wrap. This is the Betty Boop of budgets. She is predictable, a little bit trashy, leaves nothing to the imagination, and is a bit of a tease. This budget poaches popularity from its traditional strongholds, wiggles its hips, and tries to get popularity votes by catering to people it has - let’s face it - formerly only been willing to screw."
(May 11, 2007, Probably Not Interesting)

Monday, February 16, 2009

The Evil Dead 2 of punk bands

"The first opening act was The Black Halos. They were kind of like the Evil Dead 2 of punk bands. Like Evil Dead 2, you're not quite sure if that was supposed to be funny or did it just happen to be funny? It took me awhile decide: Is the lead singer was really trying to be super cool or is it a bit of a tongue in cheek act? It was when the lead singer took off his shirt and he had a bit of a Chris Willcolm build (a round belly and narrow chest) that I decided, he can't be taking himself too seriously. I liked them a bit better after that. Musically I thought that they were a talented band, but the lead singer needs to learn how to sing. I could never understand him."
(May 2, 2007, A View Through Smudged Glasses)

Sunday, February 15, 2009

The Jeff Lebowski of presidents

"Being president is a grueling job. It ages its occupants fast. Look at how President Bush looks a lot more than eight years older than he did in 2000. ... There is an exception: Ronald Reagan. He didn’t age all that much in office, even though he was inaugurated just shy of his 70th birthday. He wore his duties lightly, always ready with a joke or a corny story. He slept a lot, and soundly. He was the Jeff Lebowski of presidents, 'takin’ er easy for all us sinners.'"
(Feb. 11, 2008, John Seiler, John Seiler Blogs)

Saturday, February 14, 2009

The George "The Animal" Steele of rap concerts

"Forty-five minutes later inside the Palladium, Banner, the night's second performer (Knoc-Turn'Al always starts the proceedings), has done his proverbial tearing down of the building with his Mississippi wildman antics. On any given night, Dave may walk shirtless into the crowd, hang from a balcony, stagedive or pick a woman up over his shoulder. (He used to spit fire — no, not lyrically, but really spit flames — as part of his act, but has put that part of the show on pause while playing smaller venues). He is the George 'The Animal' Steele of rap concerts, unpredictable and untamed."
(Shaheem Reid,

Friday, February 13, 2009

The Kermit the Frog of the American Football Conference

"If the Chargers are to go down it might be at the hands of the Kermit the Frog of the AFC, the New England Patriots. They are the team whose presence looms over the league no matter their record – having three Super Bowl rings and Tom Brady under center will do that. But even Kermit has a bad day every now and then. We see the Chargers offensive talent overwhelming the Pats and squeaking them into the AFC championship game."
(Jan. 4, 2007, Joe Sports Fan)

Thursday, February 12, 2009

The Keyser Söze of professional pool

"Is it just me, or has anyone else noticed that lately that Rachael Abbink has become the Keyser Söze of professional pool? Seriously. She makes a big splash into the industry, becomes one of the more visible players out there and like that, poof. She’s gone."
(Dec. 6, 2008, Pool Cue News and Review)

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

The Barry White of the Apocalypse

And other badass omens:

The Mork from Ork of the zodiac

"Less officially, my sister and I like to refer to Aquarians as the 'Mork from Ork' of the zodiac. They’re fucking aliens. They’re Spasticus Autisticist. They’re your brother reading The Economist at your mother’s wake. They’re that discomforting weirdo you’re on a date with who just purposefully (unbeknownst to you, of course) rubbed food all over his face to make you feel uncomfortable (and here you just thought he was a messy eater, but actually, he’s testing your tolerance for oddities)."
(Aug. 8, 2008, Astrology and Other Ass Munchery)

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

The Judas Iscariot of interplanetary warfare

"Now i know what those items of starchy miscellany were before, they are in cahoots with the enemy!!! The Judas Iscariot of interplanetary warfare!"
(March 20, 2007, officelife)

Monday, February 9, 2009

The Brad Pitt of the caveman era

"As usual I'm totally entertained!

I remember Jondalar, the Brad Pitt of the caveman era...

Feeling better about yourself will take work, but it's worth the effort. Just keep on doing it!"
(Jan. 3, 2009, The Hungry Little Catepullar)

Sunday, February 8, 2009

The Princess Diana of the Guns ‘n Ammo crowd

"Whatever John McCain may have been at various times during his long political career, he is now a man clearly consumed by his drive to reach the Oval Office. His choice of Palin as running mate may be the most reckless, irresponsible decision ever made by a presidential candidate. Having spent the preceding weeks accusing Barack Obama of valuing personal political success over the country’s welfare, McCain’s first presidential decision turned out to be a purely tactical gambit that could conceivably place our nation in the hands of an ill-prepared, radical-right, scientific illiterate whose primary qualification to be the ticket’s vice president is that she doesn’t have a penis. One can only wonder whether McCain guessed, as he made his choice, that Palin would steal his thunder on her way to becoming the Princess Diana of the Guns ‘n Ammo crowd, or whether he cared either way."
(Sept. 15, 2008, Ron Reagan, blue gal in a red state)

Saturday, February 7, 2009

The Baldwin Brothers of tequilas

"Jose Cuervo's Oranjo, Citrico, and Tropiña are even better than Jean-Claude: they're the Baldwin Brothers of tequilas -- premium, smooth, slightly sweet, each a unique variation on the other's distinctive flavor."
(March 5, 2007, get pharfled)

Friday, February 6, 2009

The Cameron Diaz of armed conflict

"Shoshana Johnson, an African American, was badly hurt, and Lynch's Native American friend and room-mate, Lori Piestewa, was the first US woman soldier to die in Iraq. Neither was considered suitable to be the Cameron Diaz of armed conflict. Lynndie England, the smirking sexual abuser holding a prisoner on a leash and posing beside a pyramid of naked men, was more marketable. She was the transgressor whose betrayal of her sex and profession served to highlight the goodness of most other comrades. England, who later bore her co-tormentor's baby, and Lynch were made promoters for a coalition clutching at virtue and at victory."
(April 1, 2007, Mary Riddell, The Observer)

Thursday, February 5, 2009

The Raquel Welch of protein sources

"Grass-fed beef
The Raquel Welch of protein sources
– the original and the best. Ignore grain-reared beasts: the fatty acids in grass-fed beef are of the healthier omega-3 variety and also contain conjugated linoleic acid (CLA), which reduces body fat and builds lean muscle. Don’t order it too well done though: 'Charring is carcinogenic,' says Bowerman. 'Roasting or pan searing is much better.' Do have a cow, just don’t grill it."
(Jan. 8, 2009, Men's Health)

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

The Han Solo of peas

"Calbee Snapea Crisps - I've been addicted to these for a while, (I prefer the Caesar flavor, but the Original doesn't get Caesar schmutz on your hands). Although...I'm beginning to suspect they are pulverized peas poured into some sort of pea-magma and then into pea-shaped molds, which makes 'em sorta reconstituted-lookin', like the Han Solo of peas.***"
(Oct. 17, 2006, The Pissed Kitty Cometh)

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

The Wilt Chamberlain of NYC hookers

"That almost makes her like the Wilt Chamberlain of NYC hookers. What an honor that must be."
(March 27, 2008, Brahsome)

Monday, February 2, 2009

The Joe Strummer of orgasms

"Prince, 'Sexuality' — Have you listened to 'Sexuality' today? If not, you are wasting your summer and it isn’t even June yet. 'Stand up! Organize!,' the Joe Strummer of orgasms commands his army of hair-hoppers. Revolution hair style now!"
(May 31, 2007, Rob Sheffield, Rolling Stone)

Sunday, February 1, 2009

The Tom Cruise of near-food items

"Freezing rain fell as I crept home last night. I don't mind driving a few extra miles to stock up on potted meat product -- truly the Tom Cruise of near-food items -- if the price is right, but Kroger's had only sixty-three cases."
(Dec. 18, 2008,