Monday, September 3, 2012

The Sharon Tate of dinner party hosts

"Judging by the bodies scattered around my house this morning, I am the Sharon Tate of dinner party hosts."
(Sept. 3, 2012, Shari Vanderwerf, Twitter)

Monday, August 20, 2012

The Helen Gurley Brown of standup comedy

"I would describe Phyllis Diller as the Helen Gurley Brown of standup comedy if I was clear on what I actually meant. But she was hilarious,"
(Aug. 20, 2012, James Wolcott, Twitter)

Friday, August 17, 2012

The Mozart of wrapping a box

"The guy next to me at the post office is the Mozart of wrapping a box"
(Aug. 17, 2012, Leoni Fizzoli, Twitter)

The Gary Oldman of hockey players

"Belong to the same person??? Amazing. He's the Gary Oldman of hockey players."
(July 17, 2012, SB Nation)

Thursday, August 16, 2012

The Sarah Palin of cities

"that is not a real city - Tampa - built on a sacred Native American burial ground - thus desecrating the original people's burial ground and bringing a curse upon this town.  I am sure no one at the RNC knows about this.  Tampa was not a good choice - kind of the Sarah Palin of cities - even the much heralded Tampa Trump Tower went bankrupt before they sold many of the spaces."
(July 24, 2012, Daily Kos)

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

The Dolph Lundgren of sac removals

"Man, he cut the zit out of that thing!!! I was a bit disappointed though, I was under the impression that there would be cheese removal followed by the sac attack. Regardless, this dude is the Dolph Lundgren of sac removals….One bad mamma jamma."
(Feb. 2, 2011, PopThatZit)

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

The Lord Voldemort of policy questions

"So it hardly matters that Kathleen Sebelius, the secretary of health and human services, is widely seen as quietly capable; she was not front and center in Obama’s public push for health-care reform, a topic that another former senior administration aide now calls the Lord Voldemort of policy questions, the issue that must not be named."
(July 2012, Todd S. Purdum, Vanity Fair)

Monday, August 13, 2012

The Mitch Hedberg of dinosaurs

"Velociraptor: the Mitch Hedberg of dinosaurs."
(June 13, 2012, List of the Day)

Friday, August 10, 2012

The Bradley Cooper of sleep technologists

"I don't read trade papers or ongoing studies about sleep, I don't go to sleep medicine conferences (Yeah, that's a thing. Sounds exciting doesn't it?) and I don't go out of my way to find out about new methodologies and/or ways of thinking in the field. I just kind of go with the flow, altering my own methods only slightly according to what I'm told to do. I am the Bradley Cooper of sleep technologists: I do just enough to get by never anything more but I should be the Christian Bale of sleep technologists: super method and willing to scream at and belittle those I deem my lessors."
(Feb. 16, 2012, Run from Fire)

Thursday, August 9, 2012

The Cookie Monster of IT security

"Following a few simple steps will show your peers you really do care and you are not the cookie monster of IT security spend by showing value. Your vendors will also like and respect you too. Remember, their time is as precious as yours."
(May 7, 2012,

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

The Clint Eastwood of park dudes

"Seaweed...make my day. This guy is the clint eastwood of park dudes."
(July 12, 2012, The Topeka Capital-Journal)

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

The Dr. Doom of girlfriends

"Brandonman: Hence, why you are the Dr. Doom of girlfriends. Dump her already, dude. She’s a villain!"
(Feb. 9, 2012, Brandonman)

Monday, August 6, 2012

The Stevie Nicks of gluten-free food

"Looking at Martha’s website makes me wonder what I should do with my website and blog.  I blog about food but am hesitant to share recipes, especially for stuff in the bakery and online store.  Very territorial about my flour blends.  Sometimes I check out the Gluten-Free Goddess blog.   If Martha is the Barbra Streisand of food, then Karina, the self-proclaimed Gluten-Free Goddess is the Stevie Nicks of gluten-free food.  Flowy, artsy, all moonbeams, starfish and shit."
(Oct. 17, 2011, Shelby's Kitchen Therapy)

Friday, August 3, 2012

The Lady Macbeth of the Mexican drug world

"As if receiving charges of electric current at regular intervals, Travolta is manic and most amusing as the government agent forced into ethical and practical contortions to stay afloat; Del Toro entertainingly showboats while demonstrating dozens of ways to convey diabolical menace; and Hayek synthesizes ultimate elegance, motherly concern and complete ruthlessness as the Lady Macbeth of the Mexican drug world."
(June 28, 2012, Todd McCarthy, The Hollywood Reporter)

Thursday, August 2, 2012

The Jesus of letting people into my lane in construction zones

"I'm the Jesus of letting people into my lane in construction zones"
(Aug 2, 2012, @LaBaPete, Twitter)

The Ted Bundy of work pass maintenance

"It is true. I am the Ted Bundy of work pass maintenance. In my working life I have murdered dozens of them.  They have been abandoned in cabs, bars, washing machines, dryers, trains, boyfriends, buses, lift wells, bins ….. a gentleman once returned one after finding it wedged in his windscreen wipers.  (who knows…). Sadly most passes have not been as lucky, lost forever quite likely on the Bankstown line or at the bottom of my work’s lift well."
(May 31, 2012, The Lazy Civil Servant)

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

The Jack Handey of Christian culture

"John Piper is the Jack Handey of Christian culture."
(May 10, 2012, The Wartburg Watch of 2012)

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

The Ra’s al Ghul of the GOP field

"With his vigorous rejuvenations in the polls and support-sapping slides, Newt Gingrich is the Ra’s al Ghul of the GOP field. He has been around forever. On a respirator after the pointy barrage of negative ads hurled at him, he’s used the debates like a Lazarus Pit."
(Feb. 7, 2012, Brief Wit)

Monday, July 30, 2012

The Michael Jordan of horribly spelled words

"The toughest part about 'jewelry' is that the more you try to figure it out, that farther away you get from its correct spelling. From a purely technical standpoint it is the most frustrating word on this list. It’s the Michael Jordan of horribly spelled words, always getting into your head, breaking down your game from the inside out."
(July 20, 2012, Id Est Fid)

Friday, July 27, 2012

The Dwight Howard of the cow world

"Pretty sure I just saw the Dwight Howard of the cow world #farmtweets #toomuchwine"
(July 10, 2012, Ryan Daniels, Twitter)

Thursday, July 26, 2012

The Bill Russell of porn

"To frame it in a sports analogy, she was not content to just be a talent, but she wanted each scene she was in to 'win' and for everyone in the scene to win. It was team first. She was the Bill Russell of porn."
(May 24, 2012, VLSphoto)

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

The Omar Little of turtles

"Turtle sounds hard as hell. You had the Omar Little of turtles.
I feel like I should know more about turtles."
(May 17, 2012, Testudo Times)

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

The Alfred Pennyworth of reality TV

"Coach Trip is great as the contestants are funny, the locations are beautfiful and Brendan is just wonderfully good with people.
Almost unflappable, he is the Alfred Pennyworth of reality TV."
(Aug. 7, 2008, Richard Brennan, Newsjiffy)

Monday, July 23, 2012

The Robert Plant of serial killers

"Or if you’re more of a rocker than a prep, Richard Ramirez is the Robert Plant of serial killers:"
(Feb. 20, 2012, Street Carnage)

Friday, July 20, 2012

The Winston Churchill of diplomatic sexy time

"Because I want to be the Winston Churchill of diplomatic sexy time, my 'Lavender Walls' playlist is available for free on Spotify, which you can access here: Lavender Walls.  Use it as a springboard to make your own 'Lavender Walls' playlist! Play it on shuffle! Play it on… not shuffle! But definitely make sure it’s on repeat (winkwinkwinkwinkwink!)."
(Jan. 16, 2012, Cultist)

Thursday, July 19, 2012

The King Kong Bundy of electoral politics

"I have to say my favorite combatant in this year’s primary race was Rick Santorum.  I was actually saddened to see him drop out of the race.  Not because I like where he stood on the issues (he is a fascist just like everyone else in the race) but because he was the King Kong Bundy of electoral politics.  He was, as they say in the wrestling business, a heel."
(April 13, 2012, Remnant of Liberty)

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

The Burt Reynolds of hippies

"I also liked Justin Theroux as Seth, the ostensible leader of the commune. He's sort of the Burt Reynolds of hippies, exuding a cheesy machismo that's potent but comes with a short shelf life. He talks dismissively about the technology and trappings of the world he left behind, but his references are all antiquated -- laserdiscs and Nintendo, etc. Even though he looks fairly young, we wonder exactly how long it's been since Seth last did anything besides strum a guitar in the woods."
(Feb. 23, 2012, Captain Critic)

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

The Stan Lee of the ancient world

"Crazy stuff, they might've found the Stan Lee of the ancient world!"
(March 28, 2012,  DetroitYES!)

Monday, July 16, 2012

The Marie Antoinette of transit spokespeople

"Meet the Marie Antoinette of Transit Spokespeople"
(June 14, 2012, Adam Martin, The Atlantic Wire)

Friday, July 13, 2012

The Vlade Divac of space

"The result of the moons-as-NASCAR-vehicles collision? They blended into one moon, with the dark side of it (hey, a Pink Floyd reference!) much more mountainous, the nearer side more flat because it absorbed the charging foul on the other moon. In other words, our moon is the Vlade Divac of space. (Hey! An NBA flopper reference!)"
(July 2, 2012, Brad Stanhope, The Daily Republic)

Thursday, July 12, 2012

The George Costanza of library associations in the 21st century

"Granted back in the late-19th - early-20th centuries, West Publishing gave birth to law libraries as we know them today because members of the bench and bar could not afford to purchase on their own legal resources that the then new age of commercial legal publishing produced (Sound familiar? Loop back up to OnePassYourAss and here and here). However, that doesn't mean AALL now has to be the George Costanza of library associations in the 21st century."
(March 30, 2012, Law Librarian Blog)

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

The Robert Altman movie of comics

"All-New X-Men: ‘The X-Men is a tough nut to crack,’ says Brian Michael Bendis. ‘It’s the Robert Altman movie of comics. There’s thousands of characters, all of which have a website dedicated just to them. I wanted to make sure I had a take that was unique.’"
(July 3, 2012,

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

The Kal-El of sperm

"I personally had a first try, single donation conception with an out of body time of approximately 90 minutes. Obviously statistics of 1 are not scientifically all that useful. But it does show it's possible and that sperm loss rates are not definitively  catastrophic even at the limits of reccomemded out of body time. That or iv got über sperm lol
Given I'm not deluded enough to think I have the kal-el of sperm, I'd say it's more likely that if you stick to the usually stated limits of 30-60 mins max, there wouldn't be an issue."
(March 20, 2012, Tadpole Donations)

Monday, July 9, 2012

The Walter White of cookies and cakes

"He is the Walter White of cookies and cakes!"
(Jan. 23, 2012, FM4)

Friday, July 6, 2012

The Shaun White of dark alley neck stabbing

"I'm like the Shaun White of dark alley neck stabbing."
(July 6, 2012, Jocelyn Plums, Twitter)

Thursday, July 5, 2012

The Batman and Robin of owner’s suite egomania

"As a sports owner in the Dallas area, Nolan Ryan has an enormous reputation to live up to. Jerry Jones and Mark Cuban set the bar well over eight feet high for self-aggrandizing shenanigans, and Ryan is too straight an arrow to compete with the Batman and Robin of owner’s suite egomania."
(Oct. 18, 2011,  Mike Tanier, The New York Times)

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

The Vic Mackey of French child services

"Writer/director Maiwenn (formerly Luc Besson’s 16 year-old baby mama, now on her 3rd feature film) also stars as a photographer documenting the day-to-day life of the Juvenile Protection Unit whose detectives deal exclusively with pedophiles and other child exploiters. She ends up in an affair with the Vic Mackey of French child services, played with intensity by Joeystarr (also in Tribeca action favorite Sleepless Night, once punched a monkey on national TV)."
(April 20, 2012, Jeff Hart, Culture Blues)

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

The Jenna Maroney of rap music

"Weekends are for Rozay. Ross is a liar, but we already knew that. He denies being a star, but he is. Only a celebrity could boast this level of delusion. He is the Jenna Maroney of rap music. He’s living theatrically. If only Hollywood would return to their love of high concept and allow for my remake of Play it Again, Sam with Rick Ross as my Humphrey Bogart. I’m reasonably certain that I could get Andy Samberg attached."
(Oct. 15, 2012, Passion of the Weiss)

Monday, July 2, 2012

The LeBron of musical chairs

"you’re the lebron of musical chairs"
(May 30, 2012, Barstool Sports)

Friday, June 29, 2012

The Liam Neeson of the snack world

"They're the Liam Neeson of the snack world: they will find you, and they will kill you. Also punch wolves with broken glass."
(March 11, 2012, Eyes Are Out)

Thursday, June 28, 2012

The Han Solo of handbags

"So Badass - the 'Han Solo' of handbags - Must Acquire."
(June 9, 2012, Fashion and Action)

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

The Andy Samberg of the Miami Heat threesome

"Just when I had begun to consider Chris Bosh the Andy Samberg of the Miami Heat threesome (for those of you who missed SNL on Saturday, Samberg got lucky with superstars Justin Timerberlake and Lady Gaga), Bosh scored 34 points last night to give Miami a 2-1 series lead on the Chicago Bulls."
(May 23, 1012, Sportsgirl)

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

The Borat of philosophy

"A genius with the answers to the financial crisis? Or the Borat of philosophy? The cultural theorist talks about love, sex and why nothing is ever what it appears to be"
(June 10, 2012, Decca Aitkenhead, The Guardian)

Monday, June 25, 2012

The Lex Luthor of bro rock

"In 2000, radio stations and outdoor concert venues across the U.S. were being held hostage by a never-ending drip of band like 3 Doors Down, Disturbed and the Lex Luthor of bro rock, Nickleback."
(June 12, 2012, John B. Moore, Blurt)

Friday, June 22, 2012

The Jackie Chan of beetle murder

"We moved rooms the next day and it turns out that I had the buggiest spot in the whole hotel.  Though they didn’t go away.   One morning, I had 5 beetles in one shoe and a grasshopper in the other.  Once, I put on a shirt without careful inspection and found out that I was sharing it.  We got more accostumed to the fellow hotel guests.  At first, I was my normal gentle self, not wanting to kill things.  After a few days, I was the Jackie Chan of beetle murder.  Swift.  Using anything as a weapon: shoes, bars of soap, Kindles, condiment bottles.  I grew familiar with the satisfying crunch of exoskeleton that meant that it was dead.  Sounds brutal and unlike me, but you’d have to be there to understand."
(April 24, 2012,  A Peru-tiful Life)

Thursday, June 21, 2012

The Mary Poppins of boobs

"Yep, it’s normal for a straight man to look at women’s boobs—boobs on the woman he’s with, boobs on women he’s not with, boobs on women who don’t technically exist and can’t be gotten with, e.g., Veronica Lodge, Lara Croft, Nicki Minaj. Did you think checking out boobs was a symptom of leukemia or something? And while your set may be practically perfect in every way—which would make you the Mary Poppins of boobs—your man is still gonna check out other women’s sets."
(June 20, 2012, Dan Savage, A.V. Club)

The Andrew Bynum of untalented, libertarian bloggers

"Nick Gillespie is the Andrew Bynum of untalented, libertarian bloggers."
(May 8, 2011, Balloon Juice)

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

The Mel Gibson of the semicolon world

"   – I found this one particularly useful: HOW TO USE A SEMICOLON.  There are other ones too, but I’ve been told I’m the Mel Gibson of the semicolon world- loved but somewhat feared."
(Nov. 10, 2011, Donnie Rust, Littlegate Publishing)

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

The Kid Cudi of ensemble pieces

"Once again, ridiculously rough sketch..
I think blazers are the Kid Cudi of ensemble pieces.
They are my favorite! I notice that blazers become the go-to versatile piece that can be done up or down, but i haven't come across many that really wow me. This is a white cropped, fitted blazer with black asymmetrical leopard spots, an assortment of studs/spikes aligning the shoulders, and a few chains to fasten the diamond button. Tell me that wouldn't wow you."
(March 21, 2012, Fashionably Meg)

Monday, June 18, 2012

The Commissioner Gordon of driving

"Let's talk about driving here people, not the usual Saturday morning drive to the garbage dump in the family van, but the real deal LA freeway driving. I'll be the first to say that I'm not the best driver in the world, but I'm not the worst either. I'm like the Commissioner Gordon of driving, I'm not 'Batman,' but I do my part."
(Sept. 17, 2009,  This LA Life)

Friday, June 15, 2012

The Michael Jordan of having soft hands

"I may not be good at a lot of things, but I am the Michael Jordan of having soft hands. How do I DO it?"
(May 21, 2012, @caissie, Twitter)

Thursday, June 14, 2012

The Richard Dreyfuss of obsessive google searches

"My dearest, back up in the aerie at the end of the day. I spent quite a while on my post this morning, too much time. It wasn't that the post and photos took so long to put together, but that I then became obsessed with trying to find an image of a Louis Comfort Tiffany stained glass landscape... I was the Richard Dreyfuss of obsessive google searches, trying to find just the right image, and what was it that I was trying to express with it anyway?"
(Sept. 11, 2011, Fieldspun Thoughts)

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

The Ricky Martin of lumberjacks

"Flannel is wonderful in ways that no other material could ever hope to be. I'd even go so far as to call it the John Prine of, trust me that says more than you could even comprehend. It's comfortable, durable, warm, wholesome looking, and in my opinion, just plain sexy. When you wear flannel, you are making a clear statement; you're like the Ricky Martin of lumberjacks (o.k. that's really not flattering at all, and creates a horrid visual), but you get what I mean. You're up for any task, and you will look damn good doing it."
(Jan. 25, 2012, Country in Spite of Ourselves)

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

The Diane Lane of baseball parks

"2. Our stadium is a cougar: I mean, look at her. She’s 39 years old and she is smoking hot. Every time she gets a face-lift, she looks even better. While all of the other cookie-cutter ballparks from Kauffman Stadium’s era were run-down, terrible-looking pieces of waste that have been ditched for a younger beauty, our stadium is every bit as gorgeous as it was on the day that it opened.
Fountains, a giant crown scoreboard, the soothing hum of I-70 beyond center field. Yep, Kauffman Stadium is the Diane Lane of baseball parks. And we’re proud of that."
(Feb. 15, 2012, Daily Sport Newspaper)

Monday, June 11, 2012

The Josh Brolin of women

"Melissa's presentation boldly revealed she's turned 50, and also noted that the girl career only shot to popularity after 40. She actually is the Josh Brolin of women, and it's really a lot harder for stars to bloom overdue."
(Jan. 27, 2012, XiaoYangMM)

Friday, June 8, 2012

The Mario Van Peebles of Aerosmith

"That is pretty hardcore of a fall. Broken shoulder blade in two places, Steven  Tyler is the Mario Van Peebles of Aerosmith. I think I am the only one keeping Mario Van Peebles career in the forefront of people's minds."
(Aug. 12, 2009, Craig Wettner, BlogsNRoses)

Thursday, June 7, 2012

The Vinnie Barbarino of bees

"Remember 'Welcome Back Kotter,' that show from the late '70s-early '80s? That’s me: a modern-day Sweathog. I'm like the Vinnie Barbarino of bees. That said, I possess two things that Vinnie didn’t: spell check on my computer and friends who are far more comfortable with pen to paper than I am."
(July 22, 2008, Napa Valley Bee Company)

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

The Zac Efron of poetry

"4. Billy Collins. He may be balding and a little out of my league in the age area, but he is the Zac Efron of poetry. Who wouldn't want a little replica of Zac Efron's face tattooed neatly on their body?"
(April 28, 2012, Can You Hear Me Now?)

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

The Vince Vaughn of actresses

"Honestly, outside of the Legally Blonde films, her resume has me wondering how this quality actress ever turned into a 'movie star.'  The connection is there for me, and it’s (again) all too easy: she’s the Vince Vaughn of actresses.  Or perhaps he’s the Reese Witherspoon of actors.  And all that really means is…avoid Four Christmases like the fucking plague."
(Feb. 17, 2012,  Man, I Love Films)

Monday, June 4, 2012

The Emma Stone of cheese

"Up here in Northern California food and wine and cheese are the superstars.  So, you can imagine how excited I was to  be able to attend a cheese making class with the Emma Stone of cheese, Sheana Davis of the The Epicurean Connection."
(Jan. 9, 2012, The Colors of Indiana Cooking)

Friday, June 1, 2012

The Rodney Dangerfield of reflexive pronouns

"Irish blogger Stan Carey at Sentence first ruminates on the Rodney Dangerfield of reflexive pronouns:"
(June 1, 2012, Forum)

The William S. Burroughs of toddlers

"We've decided that living with Dew Drop is like living with the Jack Kerouac of toddlers (or maybe the William S. Burroughs of toddlers or maybe the Allen Ginsberg of toddlers- you get the idea). She lives in a realm of stream of consciousness that the world has never known (or at least our little world has never known). She's such a cool cat."
(April 18, 2011, Art from the Lost Planet)

Thursday, May 31, 2012

The Jack Kirby of Miami Vice

"Mann's name is the one most attached with Miami Vice, and unfairly so.  Anthony Yerkovich is the Jack Kirby of Miami Vice.  I was glad that when Mann made the feature film, he made a point of Yerkovich being the creator."
(Feb. 6, 2011, Chud)

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

The David Hasselhoff of comedians

"Seemingly more popular in other countries than my own, I've come to the sad realization that I'm the David Hasselhoff of comedians."
(May 30, 2012, Shari Vanderwerf, Twitter)

The Louis C.K. of child-related jokes to waiters

"First of all, small children are just mini Kardashian family members; all they do is eat, cry, and demand things.  So if you’ve brought one of them to the restaurant, chances are they’ve made the waiter’s life significantly shittier for the forty minutes you’re there.  So even if you were to be the Louis C.K. of child-related jokes to waiters, the waiter wouldn’t laugh because he or she wants to physically hurl your baby across the room like a sack of flour."
(March 27, 2012, Justin Halpern, These Fries are Good)

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

The Brick Tamland of the Obama administration

"I like to think of him as the Brick Tamland of the Obama administration. Not a bad guy. Just … 'special.'"
(March 30. 2012, Hot Air)

Monday, May 28, 2012

The Gregory House of the cartoon world

"Daffy Duck, well that lad must be on vicadin, why else would he have that gruff demeanour, and prone to outbursts of pure insanity. Daffy Duck, the Gregory House of the cartoon world! Foghorn Leghorn obviously has a crack pipe hidden amongst that feathery body of his and well, Yosemiti Sam. That geezers on meth. Simples."
(Jan. 22, 2012, Rob Draugr)

Friday, May 25, 2012

The Michael Jordan of disease-causing food additives

"Red Dye #40 debilitates the immune system -I  believe it’s the Michael Jordan of disease-causing  food additives."
(April 25, 2012, Angela M.D.)

Thursday, May 24, 2012

The Parker Posey of apartment spaces

"Much has been said about glossy white or black floors--but how about using a bright color? This orange is almost retina-searing; but for this loft space, it seems to fit. As a friend observed recently, 'Lofts just seem to get away with so much more! They're like the Parker Posey of apartment spaces.' What do you think of this bright resin floor?"
(Sept. 24, 2008, Grace Shu, Apartment Therapy)

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

The Pau Gasol of rap

"Drake is the Pau Gasol of rap. So talented but so soft."
(July 31, 2011, DJ Booth)

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

The Mick Jagger of scented candles

"The Mick Jagger Of Scented Candles
Frédéric Malle has been crafting coveted perfumes and fragrances for years, but until now, had never done a candle. Why? The answer is simple: “Most candles are designed to cover bad smells, but my clients don’t have bad-smelling houses,” he said. Not these. Malle applied the same discerning nose to his votives that he did to his eaux, and the result is a line of candles unlike most others on the market. “It took me ten years to do a candle, and we are giving access to fragrances that no one else would do,” Malle explained."
(Oct. 1, 2010, Victoria Namkung, Style)

Monday, May 21, 2012

The Wilt Chamberlain of exorcisms

"Also, how about the good Reverend racking up 15,000 demons expelled?  He is literally the Wilt Chamberlain of exorcisms.  I also love the TV friendly price of $9.95 for the Demonic Posession Online Test, simply to cover administrative feels.  You know what?  There are administrative fees for running this blog, so if everyone could send me $9.95, that would be great."
(Feb. 29, 2012, The Takeover)

Friday, May 18, 2012

The Seth Rogen of bread

"In the meantime, I have the Seth Rogen of bread–ugly but loveable."
(June 6, 2011, Mark Stenberg)

Thursday, May 17, 2012

The Erin Brockovich of chickens

"Congratulations!!! You are the Erin Brockovich of Chickens!!!"
(July 5, 2011, Cloth Diapering Mama)

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

The Roddy Piper of traditional country music

"Miss Leslie is the Roddy Piper of traditional country music when it comes to defending what she believes in! She’s here to kick ass and chew bubble gum, and she’s all out of bubble gum! (lol) Go Miss Leslie!"
(June 19, 2009, The 9512 Country Music)

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

The Neve Campbell of confusing references

"I'm the Neve Campbell of confusing references."
(May 15, 2012, Jen Statsky, Twitter)

The Urkel of funny words

"'Kumquat' is the Urkel of funny words."
(March 15, 2012, Michael Ian Black, Twitter)

The Conan O'Brien of squash

"Now to the butternut squash. For those of you who don't know, this is what a butternut squash looks like. It is the coolest of the squash family because it has the funniest name. It is like the Conan O'Brien of squash: slightly orange and unattractive, but funny and tasty so people love him it anyway."
(Jan. 24, 2011, The Accidental Lawyer)

Monday, May 14, 2012

The Michelle Pfeiffer of bears

"Yeah, yeah. And I'll tell you something, if Saturn was a female human, I can just see how beautiful she is as a bear - I've always called her the Michelle Pfeiffer of bears out here."
(Dec. 14, 2011, I Bought a Ticket to the World)

Friday, May 11, 2012

The Kobe Bryant of cake decorating

"But note to self: Never, ever, and I mean EVER try to cut two layers into four layers, ever, ever again. I mean really, who did I think I was? Rosie of Sweetapolita, the Kobe Bryant of cake decorating? Tsk, tsk. That is so not me. I have zero decorating skills, zero patience and I am an overall mess of a baker. Keep that in mind next time, Geni, Okey dokey?"
(April 2, 2012, Sweet and Crumby)

Thursday, May 10, 2012

The Soup Nazi of Bachelorettes

"I’m surprised Ashley kept Ames, actually, since he admitted he’d been an unpopular kid up until he was sixteen. Usually if anyone admits any earlier sadness, weakness, or depth of character to this horrible woman, she drops them like a hot potato. She’s kind of like the 'Soup Nazi' of Bachelorettes; as long as you stand in line and spout driveling insincere cliches at her, you’re fine, but say anything with any substance whatsoever and she cancels the cocktail party (again), and it’s 'no rose for you!'"
(July 12, 2011, TV Line)

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

The Judas of the food world

“I should not eat that sandwich. That sandwich has bread. Bread has carbs. Carbs are the Judas of the food world; They will surely betray me.”
(April 9, 2012, Tara Cronica)

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

The Wile E. Coyote of nicotine cessation

"Still, here we are, trying (again) to quit.  As usual, we've come up with a foolproof plan of our own devising that is guaranteed to backfire.  We're the Wile E. Coyote of nicotine cessation."
(Jan. 4, 2012, Unremitting Failure)

Monday, May 7, 2012

The Russ Meyer of the Rapture

"In Christianity Today, Dean A. Anderson looks back fondly on the 40th anniversary of Donald W. Thompson’s A Thief in the Night. He manages to do so, somehow, without ever mentioning Donald W. Thompson. Odd. (The Godfather came out 40 years ago yesterday — think anyone will do an article on that without ever mentioning Francis Ford Coppola?) Fortunately, Randall Balmer has already provided us with a terrific profile of the idiosyncratic auteur — the Russ Meyer of the Rapture — in Mine Eyes Have Seen the Glory: A Journey Into the Evangelical Subculture in America."
(March 16, 2012, Fred Clark, Patheos)

Sunday, May 6, 2012

The Michael Phelps of taking shits at Burger King

"I'm the Michael Phelps of taking shits at Burger King."
(May 6, 2012, Rob Delaney, Twitter)

Friday, May 4, 2012

The Ronald Reagan of wind-up robots

"This week we unveiled the game icon after taking your feedback on the poll both on Touch Arcade, FB and Google Plus. The results were a landslide for Laser. I guess you could call him the Ronald Reagan of wind up robots."
(Nov. 19, 2011, Som(a)niloquy)

Thursday, May 3, 2012

The Rosa Parks of the anti-anti-online privacy movement

"This kind of big brother stuff, sends my imagination off into the stratosphere. I picture the guy who asks my for my Facebook password wearing black gloves, a monocle, and sporting a wicked scar. When I picture myself refusing, I imagine being dragged kicking and screaming by two huge Men in Black. Then I’m incarcerated as a political dissident, and I become the Rosa Parks of the anti-anti-online privacy movement. It’s kind of cool, actually."
(March 23, 2012, Robert O'Brien, Baltimore Fishbowl)

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

The Khloe Kardashian of tennis majors

"Novak Djokovic arrived today, even with two Austrailian Open titles (the Khloe Kardashian of tennis majors) and only one loss this year he became a true champion with his win over Nadal in the Wimbleon finals."
(July 3, 2011, I'll Be Frank)

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

The Mark Twain of Kanye West jokes

"Click the jump for 'Born This Day' featuring Aziz Ansari, the Mark Twain of Kanye West jokes."
(Feb. 23, 2012, City Beat)

Monday, April 30, 2012

The Michael Jordan of weeping gently into my pillow

"I'm the Michael Jordan of weeping gently into my pillow."
(April 30, 2012, Jess Dweck, Twitter)

The Jerry Seinfeld of the 1700's

"And actually the more of his work I review, the more I think he may have just been the Jerry Seinfeld of the 1700's.. To each their own. Do not discount the fact that I said this man was born in 1709....! So before us, there are many, but why do we repeat the same mistakes? The real question may be - Why do we do what we do....?! I think Anheiser Busch figured is out and 'why ask why'. LOL"
(April 1, 2012, Millard Baker's Meso RX)

Friday, April 27, 2012

The Rick James of chickens

"What is a county fair without chickens? I particularly like this one, the Rick James of chickens."
(Aug. 5, 2011, Scott's Ravings)

Thursday, April 26, 2012

The Nicki Minaj of Catholicism

"Nicki Minaj’s Grammys performance—which seemed calculated to an absurd degree to offend self-important Catholic leaders who have a tendency to issue hyperbolic condemnations of trendy pop culture, thus engendering free press in the form of a contrived “controversy”—has succeeded in offending the Catholic League’s Bill Donohue, whose frequent grandstanding, irksome delivery, and sheer prolificacy basically makes him the Nicki Minaj of Catholicism. Not surprisingly, Donohue had several problems with the performance that was created explicitly so that people like Bill Donohue would have problems with it."
(Feb. 13, 2012, Sean O'Neal, AV Club)

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

The Tupac of posthumous dressing releases

"Paul Newman is the Tupac of posthumous dressing releases"
(April 25, 2012, Megan Amram, Twitter)

The CM Punk of camera salesmen

"The CM Punk Of Camera Salesmen Has Left The Building
I gave my two weeks notice yesterday. I had been planning for this day since August. I’ve had a pretty good run, but it’s time to pursue other interests. I’m happy to report that it’s an amicable parting of ways. even tho I had grown tired of my job over the past several months, I will miss the friends I made. I’m also proud to say that the vast majority of customers I interacted with, were positive experiences. my last day will be the 17th, then I will be heading to the west coast at the end of the month. keep watching this space for further updates…CANON REBEL T2i, FTW!"
(March 4, 2012, My Stupid Blog)

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

The Dexter of houseplants

"They are adorable! And I am the Dexter of houseplants, so I get how sad and frustrating it is to have a Black Thumb!"
(March 6, City of Dionne)

Monday, April 23, 2012

The Charles Barkley of cities

"While Jerusalem retains, at least in technical terms, its status as Israel’s largest city, Tel Aviv is clearly the country’s largest metropolitan area. Where Jerusalem is busy annexing whatever it can, Greater Tel Aviv is a hodgepodge of technically separate cities between which there is little realistic distinction. But even at that, Tel Aviv is deceptively small. While it feels big it is actually just playing bigger than it is: the Charles Barkley of cities."
(March 6, 2012, San Diego Food & Travel)

Saturday, April 21, 2012

The Werner Von Braun of the F-bomb

"Scholars of filthy language—meaning both Ph.D. linguists and enterprising middle-schoolers—will want to study the agile profanity of Veep’s dialogue with Talmudic intensity. Iannucci (writing with Simon Blackwell, among others) has a great ear for rhythmic invective and withering insults. He may well be the Werner Von Braun of the F-bomb (to use that euphemism that Meyer stiffly employs in front of her college-aged daughter)."
(April 20, 2012, Troy Patterson, Slate)

Friday, April 20, 2012

The Rick Astley of theological virtues

"Charity suffers long and is kind. Charity is the love that bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. It is the Rick Astley of theological virtues. It is the love that we all owe each other, the love that no one can do anything to be worthy of but that we all deserve."
(July 23, 2011, Livejournal)

Thursday, April 19, 2012

The Quentin Tarantino of the mommy bloggers

"Besides that, I was mentioning to a friend how so-and-so has a blog but it's vapid and dull. He said my blog's not like that. I jump in with, 'I know! I am the Quentin Tarantino of the mommy bloggers!'"
(Feb. 10, 2012, Toddler Mom)

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

The Steve Buscemi of music

"Tom Petty is the Steve Buscemi of music."
(April 18, 2012, Nathan Pensky, Twitter)

The Hall and Oates of crocodile hunting/rock climbing

"I'm quite confident that after all of our climbing that we both have a good chance of making the Krypton factor final or being stuntmen in Cliffhanger 2. Luckily we both managed to survive probably due to the fact that we choose the right footwear Salomon. It's safe to say that me and Nick are like the Hall and Oates of Crocodile hunting/rock climbing."
(March 23, 2012, John Tighe's Blog)

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

The Kanye West of neopaganism

"That was Z's whole point - to make peoples' blood boil. Her only intention here was to stir up hate and discontent and attract attention to herself.
Z is the Kanye West of neopaganism."
(Feb. 22, 2012, Teo Bishop, Bishop in the Grove)

Monday, April 16, 2012

The Eddie Van Halen of paper shredders

"The Eddie Van Halen of Paper Shredders
The thing that’s missing from paper shredders? Celebrity endorsements. Take Fellowes’s new 79Ci shredder, which costs $240. For starters, Fellowes could get guitar heroes like Eddie Van Halen or Yngwie Malmsteen to vouch for its superior shredding ability. The 79Ci is also, Fellowes claims, jam proof. Well, I’d like to see Paul Weller or Jimmy Jam put that to the test."
(April 3, 2012, Sam Grobart, The New York Times)

Friday, April 13, 2012

The Joe Biden of heaven

"Jesus is not an assistant to God. Jesus is not the Joe Biden of heaven. Jesus has never been a junior partner to God but equal with the Almighty Father in every way, shape, and form. But he did not regard that position of equality a thing to be held on to."
(Dec. 23, 2011, Thoughts Along the Way)

Thursday, April 12, 2012

The Octomom of food babies

"So pick a pair that fits comfortably — you don’t have to squeeze into skinny jeans, but do yourself a favor and leave your PMS pants in the closet — and wear them any time you know you might be tempted. Going out for dinner and drinks with your cousins Wednesday night? Doing a Black Friday brunch? Wear the jeans! It’s a good way to make sure you don’t become the Octomom of food babies and keep yourself in check throughout the season. Do I want to step on the scale when I’m regularly ingesting carbs and white sugar? Um, ya know, I’d rather not…but I can commit to slipping into the same pair of jeans once a week."
(Nov. 23, 2009, Shedding It & Getting It)

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

The Inspector Clouseau of serial killers

"I'd be the Inspector Clouseau of serial killers."
(April 12, 2012, Shari Vanderwerf, Twitter)

The Patch Adams of putting on a clown mask and scaring kids so bad they need to be hospitalized

"I'm the Patch Adams of putting on a clown mask and scaring kids so bad they need to be hospitalized."
(April 12, 2012, Jocelyn Plums, Twitter)

The George Costanza of zebras

"I like to think of him as the George Costanza of zebras."
(Oct. 31, 2011, Rusty Innards)

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

The Alex Forrest of teas

"Irish Breakfast doesn't have to be bitter. If it is, you've oversteeped it. Queen of the Assams, this is the Alex Forrest of teas: a high-strung and vengeful brew. Slight it at your peril."
(Feb. 6, 2009, Livejournal)

Monday, April 9, 2012

The Keith Richards of countries

"Very sweet, my friend. Who knew Uncle Sam would become the Keith Richards of countries!"
(March 11, 2012, Clown Crack)

Friday, April 6, 2012

The Mitt Romney of music

"You should; KISS is the Mitt Romney of music. RT @genesimmons: I HAVE NOT ENDORSED MITT ROMNEY FOR PRES."
(April 6, 2012, Rob Delaney, Twitter)

The Truman Capote of the tailgate scene

"I'm kind of the Truman Capote of the tailgate scene."
(April 6, 2012, Ted Travelstead, Twitter)

The Beelzebub of beverages

"I’m going to go on record to state that I find store-bought egg nog to be of the devil. It’s pure evil in a carton, the Beelzebub of beverages. The reason I know this to be true is that I know what real egg nog tastes like, and it is NOT that demon-concocted slime that pours out of festively decorated boxes of false promises each holiday season!"
(Dec. 13, 2007, livefire)

Thursday, April 5, 2012

The Dexter of jacking up shots

"Nick Young is straight psycho jackin. He's like the Dexter of jacking up shots. 9% points ahead of the field."
(Feb. 15, 2011, Basketball

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

The Jerry Lewis of natural causes

"If there is no God to grant us an afterlife, atheists should be the main cheerleaders of an effort to find immortality through research. One of them should be the Jerry Lewis of natural causes."
(June 21, 2011, Todd Strandberg, Standing for God)

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

The Richard III of pop music

"And it might have happened, but for two factors – one, she made a crap second album, and, two, by anointing us all as her little monsters and deciding to become the saviour of the gays, she crowned herself – something that was not her decision to make. This makes Lady GaGa the Richard III of pop music. He only lasted two years too."
(Nov. 7, 2011, Source of the Niall)

Monday, April 2, 2012

The Wu-Tang Clan of American Catholic letters

"Sounds like a good pairing: The George Plimpton of the digital age, interning for the Wu-Tang Clan of American Catholic letters."
(Sept. 23, 2011, Korrektiv)

Friday, March 30, 2012

The Joan of Arc of poultry

"During this time, I told a shocked R.E. class that I would give up my life for the cause of chickens. I suppose I considered myself to be the Joan of Arc of poultry. Whilst I no longer lecture people about our feathery friends, I still stand up for them. There is no excuse to still be buying produce from caged hens."
(Dec. 1, 2011, The Silly Asparagus)

Thursday, March 29, 2012

The Reese Witherspoon of baked goods

"Since I am clearly obsessed with the topic tonight (diet induced psychosis) and a self- proclaimed trendspotter, I will go ahead and speculate as to another up and comer: The Lemon Square. Cool, fresh, stylish, a bit retro and understated, the Reese Witherspoon of baked goods…I think they have a future. I rarely bake but I made an exception on Easter Sunday and made a batch using a recipe I found online, screwing it up and then fixing it enough to come out pretty good. I know I took a pic on my phone- they looked so pretty on an all white, rectangular dish…but I seem to have erased it. Trust me, they were cute."
(April 26, 2011, Cowbells and Dreams)

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

The Jason Biggs of basketball

"The contrast between Bowie’s career and the two greats that sandwich him could not be starker. He was the John and Jeremy Ryan crashing the Chang family wedding. He will always be the Jason Biggs of basketball; known not for basketball or acting skill, but for being that one"
(May 21, 2011, Locker Pulse)

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

The Channing Tatum of brunch

"Ladies and gents, I think I’ve found the Channing Tatum of brunch. BLD sits there on a quiet corner in the financial district. Quietly. Looking all smug and chic with its cushy dark booths, its funky light fixtures, its sleek bar. It sits there, offering up cheap lunches to the workers who dwell in the office building above. Little do they know of the wonders that are inside."
(Feb. 27, 2012, EatDrinkToronto)

Monday, March 26, 2012

The Hulk Hogan of western thought

"Plato. The man,..whooo! If Socrates is the Vince McMahon, then Plato is the Hulk Hogan of western thought! Plato's relationship to Socrates was that he was Socrates's student and it is alleged, one of the youths that Socrates corrupted."
(Dec. 10, 2011, Confessions of a Thirty Something Cybertronian)

Friday, March 23, 2012

The Yosemite Sam of nutrition research

"Here’s the thing: this bill was written at a time when a good, nutritious meal was ‘meat and potatoes’. Thanks in large part to Walter Willett, furthest left in the picture above, the Yosemite Sam of nutrition research at HSPH (he shoots holes in lots of government-funded nutrition information – plus that mustache!), we now know more about what constitutes healthy eating."
(Oct. 26, 2011, greenapothecary)

Thursday, March 22, 2012

The Laurence Olivier of sarcastic twerps with inflated egos and few lines

"He’s the Laurence Olivier of sarcastic twerps with inflated egos and few lines."
(March 21, 2012, Jason Zinoman, The New York Times)

The Amanda Seyfried of mascots

"This is the second time we've had the Texans this year, so it's the second appearance of the blue bull, Toro. And I stand by my previous statement that he's... alright. I find myself indifferent to his looks. Making him like the Amanda Seyfried of mascots."
(Dec. 10, 2011, 11 Points)

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

The Tony Soprano of squirrels

"The table is strewn with corn kernels and one squirrel, my friend JoAnn said he was the Tony Soprano of squirrels, is eating and lording it over the table. He won’t allow anybody to eat with him."
(Jan. 25, 2012, Leslee Clapp)

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

The Peyton Manning of hot women

"I thought about doing the standard 'all the hot gals of the Oscars red carpet' post, but...I don't know. There were a few surprising showings (Ellie Kemper, who I'll get to in a later post, and Viola Davis' tasty treats are the first two to come to my bourbon-saddled mind), as well as some comical ones (I mean, Angelina...I wouldn't say 'No' to her, but anymore she's the Peyton Manning of hot women: A big name with a Hall-of-Fame career, who at this point is damaged goods and a bit past her prime; she can still win a few games, but there's no way you'd stake your future on her—sorry Brad)."
(Feb. 28, 2012, Crooked Straight)

Monday, March 19, 2012

The Beelzebub of the food world

"I have always believed that sugar is the 'Beelzebub' of the food world. In my years of working with women, those who were addicted to sugar, were the ones with the most health problems while struggling with their weight."
(Jan. 15, 2012,

Friday, March 16, 2012

The Amanda Peet of edible-skin fruit

"4. The Peach. Its fuzziness is reassuring. Its color is pretty. The peach is solid - the Amanda Peet of edible-skin fruit."
(May 13, 2005, Blueprint Blue)

Thursday, March 15, 2012

The Gwen Stefani of bakeries

"Yes, I know I just wrote about cupcakes. But that was before I walked by Sweet Revenge, which could be described as the Gwen Stefani of bakeries."
(Dec. 31, 2010, Salli Vates' NY Food Page)

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

The Jackie Treehorn of the Mideast

"That makes Sharon the Jackie Treehorn of the Mideast..."
(April 24, 2009, Dohiyi Mir)

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

The Drew Barrymore of golf

"Tiger is just another child star with problems. He’s the Drew Barrymore of golf. He even followed the time-honored Hollywood formula and ended up in rehab after his fall from grace, even if it was libido rehab. He’s a prodigy that has revealed that he’s a self-involved, self-important rich guy that cheated on his wife. Frankly, though, I’m a little relieved to find out the guy is actually human, even if it is by being a despicable person to his family."
(April 2, 2010, Our First 100)

Monday, March 12, 2012

The Dick Cheney of chocolate

"Carob tastes completely different from chocolate and doesn’t have the same feel-good chemicals. I’m not saying carob is the Dick Cheney of chocolate. But taken on its own merit, which nobody does, carob is marvelous and intriguing, with a personality of its own."
(Oct. 21, 2011,

Friday, March 9, 2012

The Mr. Spock of genitalia

"For instance, if guys think with their dicks, then those private parts are often very logical. They are the Mr. Spock of genitalia. Guys tend to also think rationally, and when they don't, it is still goal oriented. Just like in sex, the thinking is often brute force, penetrating, and blunt ... everything tends to be out in the open, just like the genitals."(March 29, 2011, Dee-lusions of Grandeur)

Thursday, March 8, 2012

The Nicolas Cage of the NFL

"The Chargers have been in San Diego since 1961, and in that time they've established themselves as the Nicolas Cage of the NFL: Every 10 years they seem to pull it together and have a decent showing, but mostly they're just embarrassing to watch."
(March 7, 2012, Justin Halpern, Grantland)

The Rosa Parks of sofas

"The day before she died, I awoke to find Mangia sitting on our new couch, which was universally understood as a no-pet zone. Since she was fairly arthritic, I wondered how she even got up there. Assigning her the role of the Rosa Parks of sofas, my two dogs and other cat followed her lead, piling on in an act of group defiance."
(Feb. 21, 2012, Mary K. Moore, Huffington Post)

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

The Jeremy Lin of depressed people

"I'm loving this guy. He is like the Jeremy Lin of depressed people. He just got so depressed he went and sat in his car for two months. Incredible achievement, it inspires me. I would sit there about two hours, then come back and get a sandwich or check the latest non-News on BI . I'm depressed, my life is miserable, but I just couldn't stay in that car for more than a few hours. The dude is brilliant. What was it like, just sitting there, day after day, no iPhone no Call of Duty no nothing? What was he thinking for all those hours. I want to see the movie based on this! When is it coming out?"
(Feb. 21, 2012, Business Insider)

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

The Lena Dunham of beef jerky commercials

"Cathy is the Lena Dunham of beef jerky commercials. "
(March 6, 2012, James Wolcott, Twitter)

The Mary Magdalene of The Dude

"The origin of the name Maude is ‘Woman from Magdala.’ Yes, the same place where Mary Magdalene was from. Another derivation of Maude is ‘Matilda,’ which means ‘mighty in battle.’ Maude will assume the image of Matilda in the ‘Condition’ dream sequence. So now, we’ve established that Maude is the Mary Magdalene of The Dude. What’s really strange is that Moore and Bridges will appear again in 2013 in ‘The Seventh Son’ a mystical thriller about sorcery. Bridges will play ‘Master Gregory’ and Moore, ‘Mother Malkin.’ Hmmmmmmm."
(Dec. 5, 2011, Robert Phoenix, Astro Dispatch)

Monday, March 5, 2012

The LeBron James of modern church life

"A few years ago I got invited to have a meeting with Andy Stanley and a few other folks from NorthPointCommunityChurch. (If Rick Warren is the Lebron James of modern church life, then Andy Stanley is the Kevin Garnett. Team player, skilled beyond his years and able to rock the pulpit like few other people on the planet.)"
(Feb. 23, 2012, Ohio Ministry Assistants)

Friday, March 2, 2012

The Michael Ian Black of chefs

"I lost interest in the last cycle of 'Top Chef Masters,' and now with a new format and a new host, I’m not sure if I won’t lose interest again, particularly after they voted off one of the three chefs (in addition to the two Indian guys) that I had much invested in as personalities. I don’t remember the name of the guy voted off, but he was like the Michael Ian Black of chefs."
(April 11, 2011, Dustin Rowles, Pajiba)

Thursday, March 1, 2012

The Ozzy of small-time Iowa blues

"I hope I don't throw John off by changing the arrangement IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SONG as I have been (more and more) prone to do. (yes, I have become the Ozzy of small-time Iowa blues) We'll have some Christmas giveaways and some merch specials to help with stocking stuffers (Stuff 'er? YOU stuff 'er, you brought 'er) (was that naughty or nice?) all this and it's GEEEZER gig hours too, 6-9:30-ish. You bring the CAKE and the mistletoe..."
(Dec. 11, 2011, Blues Historian)

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

The Simpsons of holy books

"The Bible is 'The Simpsons' of holy books."
(Feb. 19, 2012, God, Twitter)

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

The Colonel Sanders of mouse-flavored cat food

"You can be the spokesman if you like, the Colonel Sanders of mouse flavored cat food. I am a simple man, just send the residual checks"
(Jan. 8, 2012, Bill Mulligan, Michael Davis World)

Monday, February 27, 2012

The Woody Allen of rat terriers

"Poor Monkey! He's a nervous little bugger... the Woody Allen of rat terriers. How'd you like that? A Mark-ish commentary for ya."
(Feb. 27, 2012, Laura Rodnitzky, email)

The Colonel Klink of the Marvel Universe

"What about them? Up until Grant Morrison's first arc on X-Men, the Sentinels were pretty much the most ineffective giant killer robots EVER. Outside of alternate future/reality stories (i.e. Days of Future Past), there had been more on-panel mutant deaths due to random hate mobs than due to these billion-dollar taxpayer-funded murder machines, and ever since Morrison, they STILL aren't very effective (i.e. Sentinel Squad O*N*E* - the Colonel Klink of the Marvel Universe). That's not a reputation I'd want to uphold, really. On the other hand, that's fairly well in keeping with how military contracts work in real life, where something is designed and promoted as incredibly badass while being anything but."
(June 27, 2008, Paciocco's Mind)

Friday, February 24, 2012

The Martha Stewart of bacon grease stains and tartar sauce farts

"Guy Fieri is like the Martha Stewart of bacon grease stains and tartar sauce farts."
(Feb. 24, 2012, Abbi Crutchfield, Twitter)

The Colin Farrell of the monkey world

"Now, I'm not saying that all animal actors should get nominated for awards. I hesitate to speak ill of the dead but the recently deceased Cheeta was always to my mind a little wooden - the Colin Farrell of the monkey world. And that's not a sentence I ever saw myself writing. On reflection, I think Colin Farrell may already be the Colin Farrell of the monkey world. Oh well."
(Jan. 9, 2012, Donald Mackay, Nothing Special)

Thursday, February 23, 2012

The Kate Upton of medium-chubby depressing female comedians

"I'm the Kate Upton of medium-chubby despressing female comedians."
(Feb. 23, 2012, Bez, Twitter)

The Magic Johnson of food

"You’re probably not surprised to hear that truly great bacon is often described as the Magic Johnson of food. Like the charismatic leader of the great mid-80′s Los Angeles Lakers teams, bacon stands alone as a superstar with the ability to bring out the best in surrounding players. A fearsome scoring threat with incredible vision and ball handling skills, Magic would dazzle the opponent while getting quality chances for the talented cast around him. He could draw defenders and then find the open man for an uncontested basket."
(June 21, 2011, Rhode Island Farms & Food)

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

The Leonard Cohen of the local foodcourt

"Here’s a smiler to end the week. I’m not really sure what to make of Hamilton, Ontario’s B.A. Johnston. A Canadian cult hero (so I’m told), he’s more droll than Jonathan Richman, and more self aware than Daniel Johnston. I prefer to think of him as the Leonard Cohen of the local foodcourt."
(Aug. 20, 2010, MOKB)

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

The Temple Grandin of retail

"Somebody needs to improve check-out lines. Where is the Temple Grandin of retail?"
(Feb. 11, 2012, Traci Skene, Twitter)

Monday, February 20, 2012

The Jar Jar Binks of management effectiveness

"Minimize the problem. The key here is to dramatically downplay the significance of the problem. The team has come to you for help. It’s your job to convince them that it’s not really a problem. It’s really not that bad. That issue won’t slow you down that much. You can work around it. It has always been that way. If you can master this technique you will become the Jar Jar Binks of management effectiveness."
(Oct. 22, 2011, Agile Tools)

Friday, February 17, 2012

The Sean Connery of gnomes

"She had just assumed I was familiar with the movie Amelie. I’m not . . yet. I’ve recently learned that I should apologize for not having seen this movie, and should see it immediatly to better justify yet another bout of child-like giddiness that erupted when I just recently met the Sean Connery of gnomes — the Travelocity Gnome. The actual Travelocity Gnome. I mean, Amelie was so 2001, anyway."
(July 12, 2011, Jon Wick, The Expeditioner)

Thursday, February 16, 2012

The Yoko Ono of the GOP

"The truth is, Gingrich’s entire career – political and otherwise – has been a comercial enterprise, currently managed by wife #3 Callista, the Yoko Ono of the GOP."
(Dec. 10, 2011, Campaign Outsider)

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

The Norm Macdonald of charcuterie

"At least I can count on the-right-kind-of-butcher, my favorite L.A. chef, Marquis de Bertrand, to ease my pain with his signature forcemeat preparations at the after party. I recommend his veal mousseline – so simple, yet so creamy and rich, you might say it’s the Norm Macdonald of charcuterie."
(July 11, 2011, The Donnybrook Writing Academy)

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

The Bill Belichick of Bachelorettes

"If you ever find yourself competing for the heart of a potential spouse on a reality show and said potential spouse is surrounded by suitors fawning over them, you can either fall into the pack like the rest of the girls have done this season or you can conceive and execute a strategy like Courtney. I am telling you, Courtney is the bill Belichick of Bachelorettes. she knows one of the key manipulative tools of seduction: there is nothing more attractive than unrequited attraction. if you are single, read that again; it will serve you well."
(Jan. 27, 2012, David Jacoby, Trout Fishing Tips)

Monday, February 13, 2012

The Martha Stewart of poo

"No, not just any Poo...
Sari Lezat's Poo!
It's gotta be good.
She's the Martha Stewart of Poo!"
(Jan. 30, 2012, Team Jilly Joe)

Saturday, February 11, 2012

The Lou Gehrig of class attendance

"You're absent today?! The Lou Gehrig of class attendance? But I named a character after you!"
(Feb. 11, 2012, John Bauman, Facebook)

The Michael Jordan of email forwardin'

"My uncle is the Michael Jordan of email forwardin'."
(Feb. 9, 2012, David Paul, Twitter)

Friday, February 10, 2012

The Stanley Kubrick of coaxing different tones out of effects pedals

"Everyone needs a little metal distortion in their life, but everyone’s metal distortion needs are different. That’s why the new T-Rex Tonebug Totenschläger metal distortion has a built-in three-band EQ. Now your metal distortion doesn’t have to sound like the other guy’s metal distortion! Just listen to how many metal distortion tones Owen coaxes out of the T-Rex Totenschläger. He’s like the Stanley Kubrick of coaxing different tones out of effects pedals! I dunno if it’s true, but I heard he made the Totenschläger do thirty takes before he was satisfied with the footage for this video demo!"
(Aug. 20, 2011,

Thursday, February 9, 2012

The Lil Wayne of older white ladies

"For those who have not been initiated into my family (That would be everyone reading this, minus my wife. Let’s be honest, though. She isn’t reading this anyway.) Grandmother is my grandmother-in-law. She is a delightful lady who is much more in tune with the modern world than many people her age. Also, in an unrelated note, I have heard her say the word 'Bling' multiple times. I guess that would make her the Lil’ Wayne of older white ladies."
(Oct. 4, 2011, The Life and Times of Nathan Badley)

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

The Kenny Chesney of internet dating

"So I learned through trial and error, to keep my profile short and simple and leave a little mystery. My pictures were recent and my situation was honest. I happened to like Captain Crunch’s profile… he showed a little bit of a fun side. His photos were diverse: a picture of his little dog, a picture of his big boat, a pic of him having fun with all his friends, a picture of an empty beach chair on some unknown sandy beach. This guy seemed like the Kenny Chesney of internet dating. So when he asked me out for pizza, of course I said yes!"
(Jan. 4, 2012, She, Redone)

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

The Pavement of baseball players

"Willie Bloomquist is the Pavement of baseball players"
(Feb. 7, 2012, Craig Calcaterra, Hardball Talk)

The Jeff Goldblum of shoes

"These cut-out marbleized lace-up heels are so completely weird they're almost pretty. They're the Jeff Goldblum of shoes."
(June 15, 2010, Fashion Fringe)