Monday, August 31, 2009

The David Ortiz of the Phish catalog

"A nice Ghost, that was funky, spacey, jazzy and straight ahead rock and roll all in the span of 14 minutes, followed and the first set closed with an Antelope that was solid but never quite kicked into high gear. Something about this song still seems to be missing a little bit. Always enjoyable but not quite the monster it once was. Perhaps it is the David Ortiz of the Phish catalog – always respected and revered even if unable to reach quite the same heights."
(June 10, 2009, Luke Sacks, Hidden Track)

Sunday, August 30, 2009

The Phil Jackson of the kitchen

"Chef Lou was like the Phil Jackson of the kitchen, imploring me to relax. Apparently, I was gritting my teeth and holding lettuce in a death grip. At home I empty the lettuce mixture from the bag into a bowl and in the words of Chef Emeril 'Bam!'"
(May 5, 2005, Paid to Party)

Saturday, August 29, 2009

The Timothy Leary of cocker spaniels

"The Timothy Leary of Cocker Spaniels"
(Oct. 24, 2006, MySpace)

Friday, August 28, 2009

The Bunny Lebowski of the Atlanta architecture scene

"By the way, he seems like the Bunny Lebowski of the Atlanta architecture scene because I know someone else that has had difficulty getting money from this guy."
(March 9, 2005, Archinect)

Thursday, August 27, 2009

The Joe the Plumber of quantum physicists

"Reading Machos impotent potshots is like peering into The Mind of the Everyman. He's like the Joe the Plumber of Quantum Physicists. No, really!"
(May 21, 2009, Althouse)

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

The Marvin the Martian of hummingbirds

"He's like the Marvin the Martian of hummingbirds."
(June 6, 2005, Flickr)

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

The Dick Clark of bus drivers

"She must be the Dick Clark of bus drivers; she doesn't look a day over 40."
(Oct. 29, 2007, St. Petersburg Times)

Monday, August 24, 2009

The Miss Piggy of dogs

"Anyone who knows Gerda knows that she’s the Miss Piggy of dogs, completely self-absorbed. Her beliefs are simple: pay attention to her, pet her, pet her more. For her to suddenly enjoy Theo’s company means only one thing—there’s something in it for her. Indeed, as soon as he started spitting up yummy milk and solid food, she became his personal groomer. Theo loves the slobber, and it has certainly brought them closer together."
(July 18, 2007, Chompers)

Sunday, August 23, 2009

The Ted Bundy of mom-lebrity

"Samantha Harris is the Ted Bundy of Mom-lebrity"
(June 30, 2007, Whit Honea, Babble)

Saturday, August 22, 2009

The Vic Mackey of NBA officials

"The Vic Mackey of NBA officials (main character on FX's 'The Shield'), Joey Crawford, has been suspended indefinetly for his role in the ejection of Tim Duncan during the Spurs-Mavericks game this past weekend."
(April 17, 2007, NBA Blog)

Friday, August 21, 2009

The Laverne and Shirley of (adolescent) man-made media sexpots

"Hot on the heels of Weird Science, a team of washed up television executives met up over martinis to discuss female robot shows to fill the coveted 1 - 1:30PM time slot usually occupied by Press Your Luck and Matlock reruns. Two bottles of Beefeater later, the boob tube was ready to get it’s own robotic Real Doll. Kelly LeBrock and Tiffany Brissette were about to take the world by storm as the Laverne and Shirley of (adolescent) Man-Made media sexpots."
(May 13, 2008, So So Robot)

Thursday, August 20, 2009

The Whitney Houston of cheese sandwiches

"White or yellow cheese? On a plate or in a bag? Triangles or squares? Cold or hot? My son is the Whitney Houston of cheese sandwiches."
(July 20, 2009, Wry Redhead, Twitter)

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

The Megan Fox of deep-fried products at the rodeo

"Deep-fried Oreos are the Megan Fox of deep-fried products at the Rodeo. At once decadent and comely, they are in the end filthy and shameful. I visited a trailer with an actual Oreo sign on top. I figured I couldn't go wrong with a sanctioned dealer. I wasn't going to screw around with some amateur putting store-brand cookies in a vat of pancake batter."
(March 4, 2009, Craig Hlavaty, Eating Our Words)

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

The Dexter Morgan of bowling

"(Even though he's the douche who murdered Silhouette, I like him a lot. I think of him as the Dexter Morgan of bowling. The Harry in his life probably told him that it's only okay to kill pin boys, because they sabotage the lanes and try to throw games.)"
(March 24, 2009, Livejournal)

Monday, August 17, 2009

The Marv Albert of the avian world

"Yeah... he kind of looks like the Marv Albert of the Avian world."
(Jan. 18, 2009, Flickr)

Sunday, August 16, 2009

The Michael Jordan of nippage

"The lady who was once regarded as the hottest chick on the planet has just died. Farrah Fawcett passed away this morning after struggling with booty cancer. She innovated the art of nippin-out. She’s the Michael Jordan of nippage. Let’s have a moment of silence for her gigantic, legendary nipples."
(June 25, 2009,

Saturday, August 15, 2009

The Francis Ford Coppola of the weed game

"Under the broad comedy heading, "I just finished a film called 'High School,' which for me is really, really fun. I play the deranged marijuana dealer. I describe him as the Francis Ford Coppola of the weed game," says Brody — who is currently being seen as 1950s-'60s rock 'n' roll and R&B record label owner Leonard Chess in the musically irresistible 'Cadillac Records.'"
(2008, Marilyn Beck & Stacy Jenel Smith, Hollywood Exclusive)

Friday, August 14, 2009

The Beavis and Butthead of martial arts

"These two may just end up becoming the Beavis and Butthead of martial arts before they're finished."
(Aug. 22, 2008, The Weekly Vice)

Thursday, August 13, 2009

The Mayor McCheese of douchebags

"Christain Bale...The Mayor McCheese of Douchebags"
(May 23, 2009, Green Lantern/Green Arrow Guide to Revolutionary Heroism)

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

The Jon and Kate of the DC Universe

"Ah yes, Diana and Ching; the Jon and Kate of the DC Universe."
(June 13, 2009, The Absorbacon)

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

The Kim Kardashian of hair

"I just feel like the Kim Kardashian of hair. People know about me (my hair) but I have no idea why when there are more well-known hair 'celebrities' out there. Every time I do a feature, receive a PM, Fotki comment I just thing 'why'? Maybe I am still battling a form of hair anorexia. :-."
(June 8, 2009, I Lie to My Diary)

Monday, August 10, 2009

The Dwyane Wade of economists

"Robert Samuelson is a top economist who gets a wide audience, mostly due to his Newsweek column. I find him to be the most consistently politically-neutral economist around, think of him as the Dwyane Wade of economists; talented, hard-working and responsible. You get the sense that he goes wherever the data leads him."
(Jan. 19, 2009, 2 Think Good)

Sunday, August 9, 2009

The Clark Kent of crapping at work

"I am the clark kent of crapping at work. If I’m taking a dump and someone who obviously doesn’t follow my rule above comes in and starts crapping, I’ll wait him out. He will come and go, and I may learn his identity when he leaves but he’ll never learn mine unless he remembers my shoes. Oh hey Bob from accounting, nice splatter echo. Glad you could share that. Never talk to me again. I’ve had guys try to wait me out, but they didn’t know who they were dealing with. They are clearly outmatched. I will die on that toilet if necessary. The longest I’ve ever had to wait is 35 minutes and there was a sports section in there to pass the time. I realize that I could possibly run into a string of several crappers in a row and spend days in the john, but I haven’t had to yet."
(July 14, 2009, Today at Work)

Saturday, August 8, 2009

The Brick Tamland of presidential candidates

"John McCain, The Brick Tamland Of Presidential Candidates"
(July 10, 2008,

Friday, August 7, 2009

The Tina Turner of donuts

"I decided to bring in donuts and orange juice for the office today. After saying their “oh donuts are so fattening comment” everyone ate one, and then raved about how good Krispy Kreme is. Archie (our free lance creative at the moment) even went as far as to say “Krispy Kreme donuts really are the Tina Turner of donuts.” So I suppose they liked them."
(July 23, 2009, Inga Kirsch, Inga's Internship)

Thursday, August 6, 2009

The Sammy Sosa of community college students

"Long story short, I've taken Adderall every day for almost the past two years. At first, it was awesome. I became the Sammy Sosa of community college students: I went back to school, focused in class, brought my GPA up, and decided I wanted to be a writer. However, there were three things that it also did to me that I'm now just starting to feel the affects of -- increased anxiety, not wanting to do anything without swallowing my orange friend, and a reliance on it to go #2."
(May 4, 2009, Eric Bove, The Bove Show)

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

The Jean Grey of the All My Children world

"She’s the Jean Grey of the All My Children world. That’s right, folks. Dixie Cooney is dead. Again. Unlike last time when she died off screen, this time around we see everyone paying respects to the body lying in the hospital as well as showing her as a ghost.. Anytime a major character dies in a comic book or soap opera all I think about is how they are going to come back, feeling that their death is a cheap ploy to unimaginatively develop some plot. When Marlena died on Days a few years ago and they even showed her being embalmed. I was irate when she and everyone she killed ended up on a poorly explained island. Now I’m wondering how they will explain the return of Dixie, when it happens and I’m sure it will. I’m also wondering if she will help solve the murders post mortem they way Gillian did when she died back in the day. It should be noted that Gillian never came back from the dead."
(Feb. 1, 2007, Okay, Fine)

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

The Jimmy Page of triangles

"I support the proposal for triangle solos, with a little big of practice I’m sure you can be the Jimmy Page of triangles, your show can have whole 10 minute solos of triangle wankery."
(May 13, 2009, Los Campesinos)

Sunday, August 2, 2009

The Mary Kay Letourneau of safe injection sites

"@wordlust I want you to assign me my very own comparison. I want to be something like... the Mary Kay Letourneau of Safe Injection Sites."
(Aug. 2, 2009, Michelle Wood, Twitter)

Saturday, August 1, 2009

The Boba Fett of the Muppet universe

"He's ultimately stopped by the gigantic gamma-irradiated Muppet called Animal, which itself sounds like it should be the creature in a Peter Benchley novel. But you can bet that Snake Walker is still out there somewhere stalking Kermit even to this day, the Boba Fett of the Muppet universe. It's comforting to think of Kermit, even while romancing Miss Piggy or engaging in witty conversation with Gonzo, constantly casting an eye over his shoulder"
(Feb. 21, 2009, Mania)