Monday, November 30, 2009

The Rachel Maddow of the Mets

"Who is the Rachel Maddow of the Mets? Sarah Palin"
(Sept. 10, 2009, Pseudo-intellectualism)

Sunday, November 29, 2009

The Dolly Parton of man boobs

"BTW I think you are forgetting about the Dolly Parton of man boobs, John Daly. Again, similar to the others mentioned, awesome talent, but just never got his body in the right shape."
(March 16, 2007, John Richardson, Scratch to Scracth)

Saturday, November 28, 2009

The Joan Collins of interplanetary conflict

"She's the Joan Collins of interplanetary conflict. The filthy girl we all wanted to kiss behind the bike (or spaceship) shed."
(Feb. 9, 2008, Fustar)

Friday, November 27, 2009

The Sarah Palin of religion

"Billy Graham was the Sarah Palin of religion."
(Nov. 27, 2009, Chris Dashiell, Twitter)

The Ric Flair of robot soccer

"This guy is like the Ric Flair of Robot soccer. Totally arrogant, a bit feminine, definitely flamboyant and ready to kick ass. He’s all shiny black plastic and metal and clearly we will see more like him in future events. Meaning, robots with a more human look."
(June 22, 2009, Conner Flynn, Botropolis)

Thursday, November 26, 2009

The Dirk Diggler of shaving tools

"Here are 3 Schick Razors that will require some TLC. One is the Heralded Schick Krona, 'The Dirk Diggler of Shaving Tools', the next 2 are Schick Injectors that have rusty blades still in them. I won't be using any of these so I thought I would offer them to someone who would restore them for use. My intention is to provide them to somone who is willing to restore them and give them a try. If you can't use them I simply ask that you pass them along to someone who can. No charge..Nada...Zilch...CONUSA only due to me picking up the shipping tab.PM me."
(May 14, 2007, Badger & Blade)

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

The Oscar Wilde of the abyss

"While…Schopenhauer was like Freud, a hyper-rationalist in a dark, irrational universe (and by now a hyper-ironic universe)…a rational labyrinth in a maze of insanity…or is it a universe lost in the fun-house of a Gödelian strange-loop caught within infinity?…Cantor maintained that the set of all sets (that includes all sets) is God, or the void for Badiou, or maybe it is a Dog after all… woff…wooff..woooff….wooooff etc…Dog = God and EVIL= LIVE, this is what is supposed to happen when you play 80’s black metal (is there a pink?) backwards…how do you play a vinyl backwards? Never found out…I guess I never will……ok…quit the rammmmmbling… Leaving you with the Oscar Wilde of the abyss:"
(May 23, 2005, Sex Drugs and Post-structuralism)

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

The Jon and Kate of countries

"North Korea’s Kim Jong-Il is now saying that he’ll consider talks with the United States if it can help improve our relationship. I’m starting to feel like we’re the Jon and Kate of countries."
(Oct. 7, 2009, Jimmy Fallon, New York Times)

Monday, November 23, 2009

The Rosa Parks of caffeinated alcoholic beverages

"As we pass by the Sparks tent, we have a moment of silence for our dearly departed drink. For those who have been living under some sort of non-alcoholic rock, Sparks was once a magical beverage bestowed upon humanity by some benevolent god, capable of both energizing the body AND impairing the mind. It was a beautiful combination, and it tasted like a bizarre mix of beer and orange soda. But then Big Safety came along and demanded that Sparks remove the caffeine from their beverage, because apparently it was helping drunk drivers stay awake at the wheel instead of falling asleep in the parking lot. Sparks could’ve refused, standing up to authority like the Rosa Parks of caffeinated alcoholic beverages. Instead, they decided to capitulate, removing everything that made Sparks important and reducing it to a gross version of Smirnoff Ice. Thanks a lot, guys."
(Sept. 3, 2009, BreathThru Radio Blog)

Sunday, November 22, 2009

The George Clooney of mascara

"The George Clooney of mascara: gets better over time, continually performs well, looks great. The more you use this product, the better it gets. Tip: I heard a rumour that Loreal products are made by the same manufacturers as Lancome. True? After sampling many Loreal mascaras and skincare, the quality, smell and texture is scarily similar. So, if you're saving cash, check out Loreal before splurging on this."
(Nov. 13, 2009, Rosiecheek)

Saturday, November 21, 2009

The smoke monster of Hollywood careers

"Honestly, I doubt Jin's death had anything to do with Daniel Kim's DUI, but I do have to admit it's one of the most fascinating myths about how the writer's write. It's like the smoke monster of Hollywood careers."
(March 14, 2008, Psalms & Hymns & Spiritual Noir)

Friday, November 20, 2009

The Hans Moleman of upper middle class women

"she's like the Hans Moleman of upper middle class women"
(July 4, 2008, Drowned in Sound)

Thursday, November 19, 2009

The Joe Friday of the sports doping world

"Now, Roger Clemens will face the toughest opponent of his life, and he won't be wearing cleats. That rival is a 6-foot-6 former college basketball player who has become the Joe Friday of the sports doping world - Jeff Novitzky."
(Feb. 28, 2008, Brian Costello, New York Post)

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

The Dixie Chicks of the health reform debate

"The Dixie Chicks of the health reform debate
(Aug. 14, 2009, Dana Blankenhorn, ZD Net)

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

The Michael Phelps of eating chicken

"Then he gets an invitation from FrontBurner to be a guest blogger. His first post appeared on their page today (Sunday, August 23), and strangely -- probably, both for me and the D crew -- Marty B is straying from his usual oneliners to just plain weirdo comments. In this post, he tells us alien is his first language, English his second. I would've rather heard more about how he's the Michael Phelps of eating chicken."
(Aug. 23, 2009, Sarah Blaskovich, Pegasus News)

Monday, November 16, 2009

The OJ of financial management

"Wow! I always imagined Franklin Reins was a liberal white guy sort of like Harry Reid.
No wonder they won’t go after him… He’s the OJ of financial management!"
(Oct. 9, 2008, Michelle Malkin)

Sunday, November 15, 2009

The Larry David of romance novelists

"'For years,' the New Yorker reports, 'people have been telling her to hire a cook. She has no assistant or research aide.

"'Why would you want people in your house?' she said. 'Then you have to talk to them.'"

Nora Roberts, the Larry David of romance novelists."
(June 21, 2009, Stephen J. Gertz, Stats of a Romance Novelist)

Saturday, November 14, 2009

The William S. Burroughs of Earth-1

"I really wish they still made Batman comics like this. Comics that seem like they were ghost written by unknown members of the beat generation, who were apparently under the influence of the various narcotics scored for them by the William S Burroughs of Earth-1."
(May 15, 2006, Livejournal)

Friday, November 13, 2009

The Inspector Clouseau of evil sorcerers

"Falcon unsuccessfully attempts to persuade Jurriaan to revoke Mordent’s power over Tarishah despite the acquittal. As she is leaving Jurriaan’s suites Mordent arrives. He chases her but she evades him. [Can Mordent do anything right? He's the Inspector Clouseau of evil sorcerers.]"
(Oct. 4, 2007, Evil Editor)

Thursday, November 12, 2009

The George Costanza of this group of ladies

"Well now doesn’t this shed some light on why Paris is trying to lock her legs at the knees. She is already stumbling based on her fling with her ex-love in St. Tropez. Does anyone else think Paris will be the George Costanza of this group of ladies? Claiming to be the winner only to have a shocking confession come out later on admitting she has had sex, but thought the different time zone rule was in affect?"
(Aug. 16, 2006, Celebridiot)

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

The Fonzie of outer space

"Han Solo rates so high on this list because he comes with the highest amount of something every starship captain needs: cool. He’s the Fonzie of outer space, the James Bond of ALTAIAGFFA. Besides, I knew if I didn’t put a Star Wars character in the top five, my house would get firebombed."
(Sept. 9, 2007, Erik David Even,

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

The Dick Tracy of squirrels

"I like squirrels. I found a picture of a squirrel in clothes (see 'About Me'). The superior intelligence and motor skills required to put on these clothes and the style of dress this squirrel has chosen lead me to believe that this is the Dick Tracy of squirrels. I'd love to meet him or the squirrel who fashioned his clothing some day."
(June 17, 2009, Dear Blog)

Monday, November 9, 2009

The Lou Rawls of self-esteem

"Scotty Conant appears on a Culinary Institute of America podcast today, and I have to say that listening to it sort of put a hop in my step. Does anybody like anything more than Scotty Conant likes being himself? I need to take a page out of this guy’s book. The confidence in his voice just rolls out; he’s like the Lou Rawls of self-esteem."
(July 1, 2009, The Feedbag)

Sunday, November 8, 2009

The Greta Garbo of hummus

"The Mediterranean Meze was the big winner in the appetizer lottery. Containing house-made falafel, chipotle hummus, feta, spicy harissa, garlic yogurt and pickled vegetables, it was worth every dime of the $12.50 asking price. The chipotle hummus was possibly the best I have ever had. Smokey and sexy, it was the Greta Garbo of hummus. I thought the falafel was a bit too crispy though - they reminded me of overbrowned hushpuppies."
(Sept. 16, 2009, Veggie Option)

Saturday, November 7, 2009

The Mr. Hankey of Major League Baseball

"Zeile is the Mr. Hankey of Major League Baseball. No matter how many times he gets flushed down the toilet, he always pops back up somewhere."
(Jan. 28, 2004, Forums)

Friday, November 6, 2009

The Danny DeVito of condoms

"Kim, I read that and laughed my ass off! Mr. RK says, 'Like the Danny Devito of condoms?'"
(June 18, 2009, Riot Kitty)

Thursday, November 5, 2009

The Woody Allen of the female race

"She’s one of those women that look ago in some pictures, but look terrible in others. I mean, she isn’t a goddess, that’s for sure, but she also isn’t the Woody Allen of the female race. She gets a 4.5 out of 10 on the ‘Pretty scale.’"
(June 24, 2009, yuhmm)

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

The Krusty the Clown of the giant monster world

"Godzilla is known for two things: destroying cities and kicking monster butt. One thing Godzilla isn't as well known for is selling out. Yes, even Godzilla has to eat, so he'll endorse all sorts of wacky stuff. We call him the Krusty the Clown of the giant monster world. TarsTarkas.NET begins an overview of Godzilla and other giant monster commercials because only we are so crazy (or stupid!) to do so. The current site motto might be 'Obsessively stupid about stupid films' but now it is "Obsessively stupid about stupid commercials"!"
(March 5, 2009,

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

The Foghorn Leghorn of master criminals

"Sorry Charlie Sheen, but it is true. And as for you Rosie O'Donnell, may I recommend spending a lot more time hanging upside down in that 'vampire bat machine' thing you got. I always like how these wackos suggest Bush had enough of a brain to set the biggest terrorist attack in our nation's history in motion, but can't explain why he couldn't find WMDs in Iraq. Bush is not a master criminal like Kaiser Soze. He's more like the Foghorn Leghorn of master criminals. Speaking of WMDs..."
(April 9, 2007, Just a Minor Complaint)

Monday, November 2, 2009

The Barry Bonds of pest control mascots

"Skip to :024. See? It’s like the Barry Bonds of pest control mascots."
(Oct. 3, 2009, Brandon Mendelson, Soap Box Included)

Sunday, November 1, 2009

The Uncle Leo of sandwich guys

"I had stopped going to the sandwich store down the street because I had made 'friends' with the sandwich shop guy, and he always kept me there for a lengthy chat when I just wanted to pick up a sandwich and run back. The 'Uncle Leo' of sandwich guys. So I stopped going. For seriously, about a year and a half."
(April 23, 2003, Bryan Adams Blog)