Monday, October 31, 2011

The Kenny of the NFL

"Brett Favre is the Kenny of the NFL. He dies on the field at the end of every season, and shows up next year to do it again."
(June 12, 2011, Total Packers)

Friday, October 28, 2011

The Chef Boyardee of education

"I know that these are tricky situations. I know that a lot of times teachers and principles are hamstrung by being put in difficult positions by difficult parents, difficult colleagues or difficult students, and there is a certain amount of understanding that needs to be granted. When it comes to the education system, I personally think that there are far too many cooks in the kitchen, including the Chef Boyardee of education, standardized testing. That being said, asking a student to prom is most decidedly not the same as say threatening a teacher, threatening a student or being the reason that metal detectors need to be put in schools."
(May 11, 2011, Sufficient Cynic)

Thursday, October 27, 2011

The Kirsten Dunst of gay porn stars

"He's the Kirsten Dunst of gay porn stars."
(Aug. 19, 2011, Freakin' Awesome Network Forums)

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

The Rick Ross of underwater insects

"Tagame: The Rick Ross of Underwater Insects"
(July 1, 2011, Glenn Patteson)

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

The Aaron Rodgers of cheeses

"This picky process really pays off – its the only cheese to have won both the Best of Show from the American Cheese Society and U.S. Champion Cheese, basically making it the Aaron Rodgers of cheeses. Throw away your mild cheddar and make your next grilled cheese with this stuff – you’ll never go back."
(April 22, 2008, Strange Birds Purr)

Monday, October 24, 2011

The Mark Twain of ancient science

"It was probably Ptolemy. Ptolemy is like the Mark Twain of ancient science. If you have a really good quote you can't place, you just attribute it to Mark Twain, who has so many apocryphal quotes attributed to him that one more won't hurt."
(Sept. 23, 2011, Comic Strip of the

Friday, October 21, 2011

The Gollum of phone companies

"Or: 'AT&T, We're the Gollum of phone companies. Living underground, by a little lake. Eating slimy things.' #newattslogans"
(Oct. 21, 2011, Thomas Lennon, Twitter)

The James Spader of lifeguards

"I just wanted to point out that 'Boy-Crazy Stacey' is supposed to be 13 years and she’s being hit on by the James Spader of lifeguards. The creeper’s not even looking at the foot he’s putting that bandage on."
(Dec. 22, 2009,

Thursday, October 20, 2011

The Rosie O’Donnell of birds

"Even the crows, the loudest of all the birds in my woods, don’t annoy me as much as they once did. I call them the Rosie O’Donnell of birds because of their obnoxious cacklings."
(March 29, 2011, Susan Reinhardt, A Good Blog is Hard to Find)

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

The David Bowie of beef cuts

"I could hardly contain myself. It was incredibly juicy because it was, in truth, bloody. My new favorite temperature. After a few delicious bites and a survey of the shape of the cut(s), we agreed the we had on our hands a hangar steak, the David Bowie of beef cuts. I was overcome with joy and cider."
(June 30, 2011, How Dude You Do)

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

The Dr. Seuss of handjobs

"Speed intervals: Going at a constant pace and grip the entire time is equivalent to putting your fingers in a girl and not moving them. Go one hand, go two hands, go get your friends and use their hands. Go fast, go slow, and you get the point because I am starting to sound like the Dr. Seuss of handjobs. So boys and girls just remember, mix it up for the love of all holy penises in the world."
(Sept. 4, 2011, College Town Life)

Monday, October 17, 2011

The Papa Smurf of the Christian community

"Papa Smurf is the leader of the Smurfs, and the only Smurf who wears red. Papa Smurf brings the Smurfs to safety in times of danger and crisis. Everyone in Smurf Village turns to Papa Smurf when things go awry. God is the 'Papa Smurf' of the Christian community."
(Jan. 29, 2011, Dominique McPherson, Dominique Chanel Edition)

Friday, October 14, 2011

The Helen Mirren of trees

"The tree didn’t grow leaves or anything, it just sprouted these gorgeous lavender blossoms all over the grey, rotten-looking wood. I thought it was stunning. It’s like the Helen Mirren of trees. It’s not trying to hide its age; just managing to look amazing in spite (and moreover, because) of it."
(May 11, 2011, Elizabeth Newlin, Real Estate Tangent)

Thursday, October 13, 2011

The Kate Hudson of dairy products

"By now, we all know Greek yogurt is the Kate Hudson of dairy products:
Trendy. Hippy-ish. Health conscious. Loved by all."
(March 15, 2011, The Good Life)

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

The George Harrison of the Muppets

"This album has some great tracks, some not-so-great. Andrew Bird's 'Bein' Green' totally rocks, as do any songs that were sung by Gonzo in various Muppet films - he may be the George Harrison of the Muppets, and by extension, Dave Goelz. Dave doesn't get as much credit as Jim Henson and Frank Oz, but you can't pull of some of these pieces and characters without being a world-class Muppet performer."
(Sept. 22, 2011, Ryan Price and the Media)

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

The Barbara Bush of the animal kingdom

"Well a couple weeks ago I came face to beak with the Barbara Bush of the animal kingdom."
(May 5, 2009, Trees Falling in the Forest)

Monday, October 10, 2011

The Joseph Gordon-Levitt of the UN

"The nice guy: Canada. He has a big crush on France’s girl. The Joseph Gordon-Levitt of the UN, if you will. Guys, can’t we all just get along?"
(Oct. 3, 2009, World Context)

Friday, October 7, 2011

The Selena Gomez of Mexican organized crime cartels

"The Selena Gomez of Mexican organized crime cartels, The Knights Templar has issued a 22-page pocket-size 'code of conduct' the AP reports."
(July 22, 2011, El Zonkey Show)

Thursday, October 6, 2011

The Adele of database solutions

" How is this relevant to the client? They wanted to buy the Joan Osborne of database solutions, but to appear competitive to customer they (at least) should have found the Adele of database solutions. Technology changes so rapidly – what we found impressive yesterday many times is behind the times today."
(Aug. 8, 2011, Jim Dougherty, Marketing Charisma)

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

The Brad Pitt of pony colors

"I am blind for a pony. Blind. I keep going back to craigslist, just to see what is there. There are ALWAYS ponies on craigslist. Last week I drove the kids and the baby halfway around Seneca lake just to take a look at an $800 pony. She was a color they call chocolate palomino, which is kind of like the Brad Pitt of pony colors. …Sean had a fit when he found out."
(Sept. 27, 2011, theplumlots)

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

The Krist Novoselic of the moon landing

"Michael Collins was the Krist Novoselic of the moon landing."
(Feb. 5, 2010, A Man Named Uno)

Monday, October 3, 2011

The Daniel Craig of hand dryers

"In the annals of restaurant hand-dryer lore, it's questionable, probably legend. And it goes like this: The Xlerator, the Daniel Craig of hand dryers, smooth as agate, with the sex appeal of a Maserati, was frightening children at Chuck E. Cheese restaurants."
(June 27, 2011, The Schecter Report)