"Speed intervals: Going at a constant pace and grip the entire time is equivalent to putting your fingers in a girl and not moving them. Go one hand, go two hands, go get your friends and use their hands. Go fast, go slow, and you get the point because I am starting to sound like the Dr. Seuss of handjobs. So boys and girls just remember, mix it up for the love of all holy penises in the world."
(Sept. 4, 2011, College Town Life)
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