Friday, September 30, 2011

The Sydney Bristow of library services

"Of course, I conveniently forgot to mention the fact that I moved the summer after fourth grade, therefore my account probably would have been at my old address, but the point is -- I'm free. In fact, I'm better than free -- I'm sneaky. I'm like a library ninja. I'm like the Sydney Bristow of library services. I'm officially the person that the head librarians probably warn new librarians about, like, 'Watch out for the library ninjas who lose books, then move, then start accounts nearly a decade and a half later under a new address, thereby abdicating all of their former responsibilities as library patrons. BEWARE.' See? I totally win."
(March 7, 2011, Here I Go Again...)

Thursday, September 29, 2011

The Jerry Bruckheimer of emotional intelligence

"Dan Goleman is the Jerry Bruckheimer of emotional intelligence. The franchise has become tedious."
(May 19, 2011, Tricycle)

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

The Stephen Malkmus of the mid-1800s

"Nothing screams 'class' like talking about poetry. Screaming about poetry screams 'schizophrenia,' but talking about poetry is great, especially at cocktail parties. Below I have translated a well-known poem by respected poet Walt Whitman (the Stephen Malkmus of the mid-1800s). Internalize the meaning, even if you don’t understand the original content, and I guarantee you will be one step closer to snagging that doctor or lawyer spouse you’ve been searching for ever since you realized money doesn’t grow on trees."
(May 25, 2009, Sissy La Rue, One Night in Texas)

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

The Stevie Nicks of Israel

"About 60 kilometres west and more than 700 metres below Jerusalem, Israel's largest city, Tel Aviv, stretches along the Mediterranean, its long beaches punctuated by high-rises, like the Gold Coast. It's youthful, brash and secular - a far cry from pious, weathered Jerusalem. If Jerusalem is a little Marie Osmond, Tel Aviv is definitely the Stevie Nicks of Israel."
(Aug. 8, 2011, Andrew Taylor, The Sydney Morning Herald)

Monday, September 26, 2011

The Kylie Minogue of universities

"I’ve been shown an architects model of the completed campus, an array of neat glass blocks circled by blue water and miniature trees. It is small and perfectly formed, the Kylie Minogue of universities and a charmingly pleasant place to live and work."
(Oct. 14, 2010, My Life in Ho Chi Minh City)

Friday, September 23, 2011

The Merv Griffin of compost-themed entertainment

"That’s where Youth Radio, an Opportunity, employer has stepped in. Caitlin Grey, the Merv Griffin of compost-themed entertainment, has produced the following video to help you sort through your waste stream."
(Oct. 22, 2009, Opportunity Knocks)

Thursday, September 22, 2011

The Dabney Coleman of sport sedans

"This E350 is the Dabney Coleman of sport sedans. They both bring an air of credibity to their respective roles but both are very outdated."
(Oct. 19, 2009, The Truth About Cars)

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

The Manny Ramirez of deli meat

"Pastrami is the Manny Ramirez of deli meat. It’s delicious but hangs around too long and will kill you."
(Aug. 19, 2011, True Blue LA)

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

The LeBron of society

"LeBron may be one of, if not the greatest, basketball players of all time. But, in terms of a club — he’s a virus to a community. He’s the club that receives a lot of bad publicity, the one that doesn’t care about its members. He’s the type of club that makes a lot of money, but that’s just because of volume, not value.
Do you want your club to be the LeBron of society?"
(June 15, 2011, Tyler Montgomery, Club Solutions Magazine)

Monday, September 19, 2011

The Maya Angelou of petty diatribes

"My hyper-extended vocabulary is a direct symptom of my anxiety about not being able to say what I mean. It turns me into the Maya Angelou of petty diatribes, the Ayn Rand of personal coaching."
(Aug. 12, 2011, Moxie Mouth)

Friday, September 16, 2011

The Coldplay of classical music

"Felix Mendelssohn is the Coldplay of classical music."
(Aug. 27, 2011, A.S. Paul, Twitter)

Thursday, September 15, 2011

The Gerard Depardieu of any vaguely English film

"i agree, hugh grant is a joke. he's just the gerard depardieu of any vaguely english film (i'm sure there is some sort of legal requirement that depardieu features in any film that even has a piece of camembert in it)."
(Oct. 12, 2005, Guardian Unlimited)

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

The Nicole Kidman of the Doberman class

"Steve’s ultra-modern kennel is a very clean, stable facility that is state-of-the-art and brings forth the best dogs and puppies to their adoptive homes. When you adopt one of Family Dobes, you know that you are getting a spectacular specimen of a Doberman. In addition to puppies, Steve also offers for the person like me, a trained adult. Some of us simply don’t have the time to train a puppy or spend time playing with it. We need to be on a movie set, in an office or jetting across country to meetings. His latest adult trained offering is Heika, who simply put is the Nicole Kidman of the Doberman class. Strikingly beautiful, smart, sleek and one-of-a-kind."
(April 16, 2011, Tommy Lightfoot Garrett, Family Dobes)

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

The Stieg Larsson of cozy White-House mysteries

"Hi, Julie! So much has happened since last you were on this blog. You have become the Stieg Larsson of cozy White-House mysteries. :) How do you feel about your meteoric rise to fame?"
(Jan, 4, 2011, Julia Buckley, Mysterious Musings)

Monday, September 12, 2011

The Destiny’s Child of bad announcing

"Anyhoo, if Waldman, Sterling, and Kay were the Destiny’s Child of bad announcing, Georgie’s Girl would be Beyonce. She got robbed!"
(Feb. 1, 2009, River Avenue Blues)

Friday, September 9, 2011

The Kris Humphries of legal management tools

"Firm Manager is also willing to enter into a prenuptial agreement of sorts. (It’s like the Kris Humphries of legal management tools. Why do I know this. That’s not a question.)"
(July 6, 2011, LOMAP)

Thursday, September 8, 2011

The Johnny Carson of mixed drinks

"Look, I can’t believe we need to have this discussion, but here we are. I get that Pepsi Max is a league sponsor, but the Jack-and-Coke is an institution, something we can all turn to for its remarkable consistency in our darkest hours. It’s like the Johnny Carson of mixed drinks (Kids, ask your parents what a ‘Johnny Carson’ is.). Hell, when you get right down to it, the Jack-and-Coke is America’s cocktail, and showing it such disrespect makes you a commie pinko terrorist."
(Aug. 4, 2011, First Touch)

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

The Paul McCartney of personal locomotion

"Ah, so bikes are the Paul McCartney of personal locomotion."
(Dec. 19, 2009, MetaTalk)

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

The Anne Rice of mermaids

"I mean, there are tons of Vampire stories out there, both before and after Twilight hit the big time. But with nothing else to compete against on the subject of mermaids? DUDE. It has the potential to be bigger than Twilight. She could become the Ann Rice of mermaids - rewriting their mythology and forever impacting how they are thought of."
(April 15, 2011, Letters to Twilight)

Monday, September 5, 2011

The Michael Ian Black of The Weather Channel

"Also, I can't believe you're gonna be a TV star! I mean, it sounds like this show is gonna do for The Weather Channel what I Love the 80s did for Vh1. I mean, Hank you're gonna be huge, you're gonna be the Michael Ian Black of The Weather Channel. Who else are they gonna get to be the, like, fresh funny face of The Weather Channel?"
(Nov. 5, 2010, Vlogbrothers Transcripts)

Friday, September 2, 2011

The Brick Tamland of American politics

"Sarah Palin: the Brick Tamland of American politics."
(May 3, 2011, Deus Ex Malcontent)

Thursday, September 1, 2011

The Frank Lloyd Wright of the rodent world

"The Frank Lloyd Wright of the rodent world. Architect mouse builds a food mansion "
(Sept. 1, 2011, New Scientist, Twitter)

The Eddie Vedder of the investing world

"Either directly or through mutual funds, most people I know own shares of large-cap stocks like General Electric (GE), Merck (MRK), Oracle (ORCL) or Exxon Mobil (XOM). But I would be hard pressed to think of one who owns Barrick Gold (ABX), Placer Dome (PDG), or some of the smaller metals companies that dot the American Stock Exchange. But if you’re looking for an alternative to equities or the Standard & Poor’s 500, look no further. Gold is the Eddie Vedder of the investing world."
(Oct. 19, 2009, ZF Capital)