"First of all, small children are just mini Kardashian family members;
all they do is eat, cry, and demand things. So if you’ve brought one of
them to the restaurant, chances are they’ve made the waiter’s life
significantly shittier for the forty minutes you’re there. So even if
you were to be the Louis C.K. of child-related jokes to waiters, the
waiter wouldn’t laugh because he or she wants to physically hurl your
baby across the room like a sack of flour."
(March 27, 2012, Justin Halpern, These Fries are Good)
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