The Homer Simpson of apostles

"My favorite apostle has to be Peter. Peter is, without a doubt, the Homer Simpson of apostles. He is constantly screwing up and you can just imagine him saying, 'D'oh!' every time. The day after Christ was crucified, He decides to go fishing. This makes me laugh because Peter is a horrible fisherman. Everytime in the bible when he goes fishing, he never catches anything. This time is no different. Him and a few other disciples spend that day and the next night fishing and catch NOTHING! Then, on Easter morning, some guy comes and walks up to the shore and says, "Hey, try throwing your net out over the other side of the boat. Miraculously, they catch 153 fish, nearly destroying the net. Peter, being one of the only apostles to recognize Jesus, puts all of his clothes on and actually jumps into the water and swims to shore. Then him and Christ ate breakfast together."
(April 10, 2005, philly2themax, Livejournal)

The Marmaduke of chickens

"That's me checking out a buff Orpington, a breed so friendly that it has been called the 'Marmaduke of chickens.'"
(Oct. 20, 2008, Katherine Miller, The Oregonian)

The Jimmy Kimmel of mumbly guitar gods

"Last night, Saul 'Slash' Hudson appeared on 'The Tonight Show w/ Chinny McWeaselJerk' to play some pile of musical glop from his new solo effort, Slash, and the top-hatted cigarette transport stuck it the man one more time by sporting a 'Team Coco' pin on his requisite leather jacket. Gawker.tv has a funny look at how the NBC camera people did all they could not to highlight Slash’s support of company pariah Conan O’Brien. Way to rub it in Jay’s face, Slashy. You’re the Jimmy Kimmel of mumbly guitar gods."
(April 7, 2010, James Greene, Jr., Crawdaddy!)

The Billy Joel of the mohawk set

"My eyes are being opened to the minor works of David Bowie. And I'm not convinced more than ever that if Rancid didn't have such a stupid name they'd be the Billy Joel of the mohawk set. That's a compliment. Really."
(Feb. 18, 2009, Goo Goo Please)

The Hattori Hanzo of sonic ballsuppedness

"@fabeku may be the Hattori Hanzou of sonic ballsuppedness and has a killer website."
(June 4, 2010, Elana, Twitter)

The Ralph Wiggum of cities

"It can't be that bad, except that Cleveland has never won a professional sports title in anything ever, and they are usually ranked among the Top 10 Most obese cities. Basically, Cleveland is the Ralph Wiggum of cities."
(Dec. 16, 2009, Matt, Every Day, Another Song)

The Beyonce of hedge fund investing

"Hedge fund manager Steven Mandis of Halcyon manages billions but he also has a side job: teaching a group of Harlem students about investing. View original post here: Meet The Beyonce Of Hedge Fund Investing: Steven Mandis"
(March 30, 2010, Distressed Assets Coalition)