The Joe Biden of can’t-keep-their-mouths-shut pickpockets

"Goldman is an extraordinary Alpha dog. Enron on steroids. Yet they are also an extraordinary albatros. A tone deaf, don’t know-when-to-lay-low, last-to-leave-the-party vampire squid that seems intent to rub their criminalty in everyone’s faces long after it is uncool to keep kicking the corpses on the ground and everyone else already slunk off into the weeds because they heard the sirens in the distance. They are the Joe Biden of can’t-keep-their-mouths-shut pickpockets."
(April 20, 2010, Naked Capitalism)

The Charles Barkley of sloppy seconds

"The Charles Barkley Of Sloppy Seconds – nobody liked a good a rebound fuck like Johnny"
(Feb. 11, 2010, The Dbag Journal)

The Hannibal Lecter of sexting

"Tiger Woods Is the Hannibal Lecter of Sexting"
(March 18, 2010, Tim Kenneally, Celebuzz)

The Mr. Spock of bowling coaches

"If, like me, you're impressed enough with the two-handed bowling style to try it yourself or, at least, to help others learn it, Joe Slowinski, the 'Mr. Spock' of bowling coaches, has an article that dissects the style with patented Slowinskian meticulousness. Enjoy."
(May 18, 2010, Steve's Bowling Blog)

The Forrest Gump of jihad

"From all the officials we talked to we heard shades of the same story: Bryant was an unremarkable kid who defied logic and upbringing to threaten his nation.

His path to radicalism we were told made him a poster child for the process, 'the Forrest Gump of Jihad,' as one official put it."
(May 12, 2010, Updated News)

The Hamburglar of typographical errors

"yesterday i took a break from my new job as packy mcpackerson to attend to my actual job, which meant pulling yet another copyediting all-nighter. i pride myself on being very sharp in the night. typo? look out! it's the middle of the night! i'm like the hamburglar of typographical errors after 10 pm. it's the daytime you have to look out for. in the day i get distracted by netflix, useless chores, dishes in the sink, dry skin, etc. what can i say? when you have to scratch, you have to. but at night there are no distractions. only typos. and hamburgers."
(Aug. 24, 2006, Kara, Sempre l'altra cosa)

The Keith Richards of menswear trends

"We feel like we say this every year, but we’re really starting to tire of check shirts – they’re the Keith Richards of menswear trends."
(March 16, 2010, Selectism)