The Ralph Waldo Emerson of shooting people in their stupid faces

"Instead of freaking out, put yourself in a better mindset: you’re the Gandhi of gaming. You’re the Dalai Lama of digital destruction. You’re the Ralph Waldo Emerson of shooting people in their stupid faces. If you’re losing your cool, you’re going to continue to lose at the game. So, focus. You can do that. I know you can because you do it all the time before you want to rage-quit. You know you can do it too."
(Jan. 11, 2011, Joey Hefilch, Piki Geek)

The LeBron James of sleep

"I used to be an enviable sleeper. It was what I could do. Some can dance, sing, decipher knitting instructions and make a sweater---I could sleep. Deeply. Easily. I was the Lebron James of sleep. In fact, if the Olympics included a sleeping event, I would have represented the U.S. proudly and come home with a gold."
(April 12, 2011, Susan Szold, Susan Says)

The Bugs Bunny of medieval murder

"I still don't understand exactly what Morgan's relationship with Evil Nun is all about, but I know I loved her whole frail old woman routine this episode. She's like the Bugs Bunny of medieval murder or something with her trickery."
(May 2, 2011, Mindy Monez, Television Without Pity)

The Bruce Wayne of microbes

"Plus, until the Batmobile is superseded as the most desirable car of all time, we might as well encourage the Bruce Wayne of microbes to do what it does best. Given the amount of energy Lovley and associates have managed to produce from selected Geobacter microbes, its powers may someday be harnessed under the hood on the road to a cleaner, brighter future."
(March 28, 2011, Suzanne Winter, Small Things Considered)

The David Hasselhoff of eating shit off the floor

"My dog is the David Hasselhoff of eating shit off the floor."
(July 23, 2011, Shari Vanderwerf, Twitter)

The Chewbacca of shoes

"I think he got too cocky with the Jeffrey Campbell Roks shoe... he simply took this one a step too far... The Chewbacca of shoes."
(April 22, 2011, Et Cetera)

The Michael Phelps of forgetting to bring a towel to the gym, then having to shame-dry with a hand towel

"I'm the Michael Phelps of forgetting to bring a towel to the gym, then having to shame-dry with a hand towel."
(July 22, 2011, Adrienne Valenza, Twitter)