The Michael Phelps of the sperm world

"I repeat, a tampon cannot become lost in your body. The vagina is a closed canal. It’s not a black hole into which your tampon vanishes. It’s also not like your clothes dryer where your socks disappear, never to be seen again. A vagina is like a dead-end street, once you hit the end of the street, there’s no where else to go. So when you’re cruising down Vagina Street and you hit the cervix, that’s it, that’s the end of the road. Nothing is getting past that cervix…well, nothing except for your husband’s/boyfriend’s/one night stand’s little swimmers but only if that little sperm is an elite swimmer, the Michael Phelps of the sperm world. But there is no way for a tampon to travel beyond the cervix. The idea that a tampon could leave the vagina and become lost within the human body is absurd. It’s ridiculous. It’s positively preposterous. A tampon cannot be lost."
(Oct. 30, 2009, Loripalooza)