"The Andy Dick of squirrels has been running wild in Vermont. One man claims the insane rodent jumped on his back while he was shoveling snow, and at least one woman says she was bitten. Authorities say the squirrel is probably not rabid, but instead has lost its fear of humans after being fed by well-meaning idiots. And people wonder why I hate leaving the house? Nature is out to get us people. If it's not earthquakes and tsunamis, it's insane squirrels. The faster we wipe out nature the better off we'll be. God didn't create us in his image just so we could be terrorized by stuff, did he?"
(March 17, 2011, The Daily Crabble)
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