The Conan the Barbarian of kindergarten

"According to the site, I can take on 30. Yeah, that's right, 30. I'm like the Conan the Barbarian of Kindergarten. That's just how I roll."
(Dec. 14, 2007, SRG InfoTech)

The Mr. Magoo of higher powers

"God may be all-knowing and all-powerful, but He is, it seems, a lousy shot, the Mr. Magoo of higher powers."
(Dan Savage, The Commitment)

The Miss Piggy of public opinion

"FoMoCo should probably be a bit worried that eventually the Miss Piggy of public opinion's gonna come back and drop a haymaker on their ass for continuing to stick its hand up Kermie's."
(June 29, 2006, Ray Wert, Jalopnik)

The Dan Rather of the sake world

"Oh, ha, but you are THE investigative reporter - the Dan Rather of the sake world!"
(Dec. 10, 2008, Tokyo Through the Drinking Glass)

The Cher of the pizza world

"Durkin’s Pizza, home of 'Pizza, Beer, Wine and Rock & Roll' (www.durkinspizza.com) is located just north of Custer Road in a Target shopping center on 121. Owned by the charismatic young restaurateur, Michael Durkin – and for the record, I only learned his first name after visiting the website, he introduced himself to us as simply, 'Durkin'. The Prince or the Cher of the pizza world, I suppose – the restaurant prides itself on serving delicious hand-tossed pizzas, signature salads and an impressive list of beers and wines. The food is good, no doubt. I began my meal with an arugula salad topped with toasted almonds, fresh mozzarella and sliced strawberries and followed that up with a pizza topped with just about everything all chased by an ice cold Shiner Bock."
(Sept. 27, 2009, The Secret Life of a Crazy Foodie)

The Barney the dinosaur of southern rap

"The sonic effect is by turns ominous, mournful, monstrous, and naively cheerful. The last of these is especially the case for Mike Jones, a rapper whose litany of artistic trademarks, such the repetition of his stultifyingly banal nom de plume, and the habit of giving out his phone number in every song, together with his upbeat and affable voice, contribute to a palpable air of guileless enjoyment. Mike Jones is not trying to sell you drugs, or take your drugs from you, or hurt you in any way. He is like the Barney the dinosaur of Southern rap, teaching your intellectual white ass above all that there is no need to feel guilty about enjoyment – in that way he’s cheaper than psychoanalysis."
(Nov. 16, 2007, Acknowledged Classic)

The Nancy Botwin of Mexican gummy bears

"i didn't know there was such a large market for illegal mexican gummy bears... maybe i should get into the market here. i could visit more often when i pick up my supplies. i'd be like the nancy botwin of mexican gummy bears."
(July 16, 2009, Suicide Jane)