The Regis of medical supplies

"Thank You Band-Aids,I was finished with those hairs anyway.
For healing my cut faster than how 'The Paul Reiser Show' was canceled.
For helping heal me instead of saying 'quit your whining' like some people.
For being more reliable than the odds of there being another 'Fast and Furious' movie.
For only coming in tan, that must please Klan members.
For coming in multiple sizes to fit Kirstie Alley’s ever fluctuating size.
For being like a SARS mask for my cut.
For covering up my cut. If only you could do the same to Donald Trump’s face.
For always being there, like the Regis of medical supplies.
For being on more men than Madonna has.
For being just as comfortable to wear as The Snuggie."
(May 3, 2011, This is Dan's Blog)