"The joy of the world is a baby panda cub, y’all, srsly. I want to go my ass to China and become like, the Panda Whisperer. I’ll show them how to do it, get a little Ursine Kama Sutra going on, open a Panda Parenthood for prenatal heath care, set up some couple’s therapy and daddying classes for panda dads, it’ll be rad. I’ll be like the Dr. Phil of pandas, only not a complete moronic quack. Hoookay! I’m losing my mind. Gonna go have summore coffee before I embarrass myself any further. I just love pandies, but not in a wacky, 'Grizzly Man' sort of way. Morelike in an 'instead of wasting money on wedding favors, I’m going to sponsor a giant panda through the World Wildlife Federation in honor of my wedding guests' sort of way."
(Aug. 1, 2008, ButtercupPunch)
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