"Now, no boring, socially uncomfortable family outing is complete without my dad showing up with his super long hair and sarcastically upbeat attitude towards his life that is all the more depressing strictly because he tries to act upbeat about it. Since my parents split up, my dad has perfected an attitude of martyrdom that I daresay is unmatched in the world. He is the Tiger Woods of making people feel sorry for him. No, fuck that, because sometimes Tiger Woods loses. He is the ROCKY BALBOA of making people feel sorry for him. That’s right, even if you secretly trained a 7″ communist Russian super-martyr, complete with drug enhancements and state-of-the-art computer led pity training, my dad would STILL out martyr the guy, then wrap himself in the American flag and yell, 'My life sucks!'"
(Aug. 12, 2008, This is where your free time goes to die)
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